The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field;

the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.

LORD, what are human beings that you care for them,

mere mortals that you think of them?

They are like a breath; their days are like a fleeting shadow.

Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.

The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.

Psalm 127:3

Behold, Children are a heritage from the LORD,

The Fruit of the womb is a reward.

We were supposed to be "one and done" with our firstborn - but then, the Lord had another plan.

While other couples are struggling with infertility, I think it's the opposite for us.

I know it should be the least concern because many couples out there are longing to have a child of their own, yet for us, for me especially, I am afraid to get pregnant again.

Pregnancy is a long journey to walk for me - it feels like forever...  not to mention the hardship I experienced - the vomiting, nausea, loss of appetite, body changes, body pain, as well as the consideration for things to use or food to intake.

Surely, there is joy and excitement that pregnancy brings - it is wonderful to think that a life is growing inside of you... yet, sometimes, fear and anxiety just creep in, and then you become overwhelmed.

I worry whether my baby will develop well or will even make it through the full term.

A lot is going on in my mind, body, and emotions.

And so, when I went through it the first time, I said, This will be the last time - I don't want to create something for me to worry about again.

My husband also supports this due to financial constraints and for us to have more time together as a couple.

While pregnancy was hard, for me, postpartum was even harder.

I was shocked - this is motherhood!

I was more afraid of it than being pregnant itself.

There are a lot of pains - pains that I really cry on to God.

I even experienced some kind of anger towards my husband because I felt "why is it only me that is experiencing pain?" , "how come my husband looks good and I feel awful?"

"I do not know myself anymore, while my husband is still the same, it is just so unfair for me"...

To cut the sentiments short, I did not handle postpartum really well, and it affected our marriage. The regrets of being married lingered on my thoughts...

So now the questions are...

1. How did we overcome that season of our marriage?

2. What makes us decide to get through it the second time?

To answer the first question, 

Thankfully, we have the support group we needed - given our own families, our spiritual families are great help as well.

Being accountable with our discipleship group helps us a lot - walking with them is a blessing, knowing we are not the only ones experiencing hardship.

The presence, the kindness, the generosity, and the thoughtfulness of the people around us made me feel better.

It feels like the Lord has indeed sent His angels to take care of us.

Our willingness to take action on our part also plays an important role - we worked on our marriage and decided to make it a priority.

We talked, we laughed, we spent time together, we shared thoughts, we served each other, we forgave, and we expected less from each other.

We tried to appreciate one another and honor each other.

We serve together and pray together.

We did not hide our struggles, our fears, our fights - we opened them to the light.

We accepted rebukes and opened our hearts for advice.

Still not perfect though - but we practice accountability and we value sharing our lives with those people who call on the Lord from pure hearts.

While we found ourselves healing from the heartaches and fear of the past (and also to answer the second question) -

We found ourselves in our church leadership conference contemplating with the Lord by what He impressed into our hearts - to have a baby again...

(Oh nohhhhh...)

Our senior pastor was sharing about what kind of legacy we are leaving in this world and that children are gifts from the Lord - they are not a burden. They are rewards.

And if they are gifts and rewards, then why don't we want them? Why do we keep ourselves from having them?

Also, if we want to make this world a better place while we wait for Christ's 2nd coming, don't we want to raise godly children who love and fear the Lord?

Imagine two different couples - one couple doesn't know and love the Lord, while the other fears and loves Him with all their hearts. Yet, this couple who follow the Lord doesn't want any kids, while the other keeps having children.

If we Christians don't want any kids, then where can we pass through the values and our love for Christ?

Don't we want this world to have more people who love and fear the Lord?

We must check our hearts why we keep ourselves from having them because it is a gift from the Lord and raising them is a privilege.

For us, I know it is fear and selfishness that keep us from saying yes to the Lord, but ultimately, the root of it is a lack of faith.

I'm afraid everything will repeat again.

I don't want the pregnancy pain, postpartum pain, the worry caused by a growing belly, growing baby and so on... I don't like sleepless nights, I don't want to lose myself again.

I'm having myself back now - I'm enjoying some sort of liberty now that my firstborn is growing more independent.

It feels like I just got my sanity.

My husband and I enjoy more time together, and we have many plans for traveling, career growth, and providing for our little boy.

We feel we are really okay now.

We are stable now.

Then, here comes God's word speaking to us.

Surely the Lord knows how to sanctify us.

He wants us to exercise our faith and put our trust not in ourselves but in Him alone.

He wants not self-confidence but Christ-confidence for us.

While the Holy Spirit is so strong and we know we cannot disobey, do you know what made me saying yes to having a baby the second time around easier?

... it is when my husband says, "I will give you the best postpartum ever"...

This just comforted me and calm my thoughts from worries.

I thought, they were the sweet words I never thought I needed.

Well, I think it comes from the Lord. He impressed those words on my husband's heart to assure me that it will be fine and surely there is a blessing in obedience.

Now, here we are, a family of four.

We welcomed our little baby girl last August 26, 2025, at 06:42 am.

Of course, it's still not easy - the labor, delivery, and postpartum were still hard - but my husband is so far keeping his words to me (wow, praise God! Haha)

Deuteronomy 1:29-31

Don't be afraid, The Lord your God is going ahead of you, just as you saw Him do in Egypt. And you saw how the LORD your God cared for you all along the way as you travelled through the wilderness. Just as a father cares for his child. Now he has brought you to this place.

Josh 1:5

For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you...

Sharing also the verses I hold on to during this pregnancy.

Indeed, the God who delivered me the first time is the same God who was with me this second time around.

He is my Promise-Keeper, my Deliverer, Sustainer, Helper and Keeper.

My soul is in awe of Him!

Also, HAPPY 5TH YEAR Anniversary to us, hon!

God did it! 🥂

We sometimes resent that our life isn’t what it once was - Or perhaps the “sameness” of life has caused us to be discontent, pushing us to wander this world and seek what it has to offer.

Have you heard the phrase "Someone who has broken down the fence wanders endlessly"?

Surely, there must be no harm in searching for the meaning and purpose of our lives - but there is a serious danger when we do it alone, following our heart's desires and lowering our guard. 

We can be easily attacked by the "roaring lions" and eventually become lost.

In Jeremiah we read that our hearts are crafty - they cannot be trusted.

Jeremiah 17:9 NLT

The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?

Jesus also said that nothing good comes from our hearts. 

Matthew 15:19 NLT

For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.

We MUST NOT follow our heart, but instead guard it, for everything we do flows from it.

Don't break or lower the fence we are in.

We must guard it.

We must stay alert.

How? Let's unfold some stories from the book of Genesis and learn from them.

1. GENESIS 24: A Wife for Isaac

Genesis 24:39-40 NLT

“But I said to my master, ‘What if I can’t find a young woman who is willing to go back with me?’ He responded, ‘The Lord, in whose presence I have lived, will send his angel with you and will make your mission successful. Yes, you must find a wife for my son from among my relatives, from my father’s family.

READ FULL STORY HERE

This story serves as a reminder of the firm FAITH of Abraham's servant in choosing a spouse for his master's son.

CAREFULLY obeying all instructions given by his master, Abraham.

First of is, it must be from his father's family, not to mention how long the journey from Canaan to Haran is and the possibility that there will be no woman willing to go with him and marry Isaac.

- Yet this servant believes what his master believes in - that surely God will make his journey successful.

We cannot settle for less in choosing the one we will going to marry.

Someone we choose to love or pour our energy and focus into will surely affect our walk with the Lord.

It is very important that we mustn't let our hearts be captivated by those who are not in the family of faith, even if the search and waiting are long, or there is no assurance that we will meet our future spouses or not.

Don't settle for less or compromise with our values as Christians, following our heart's desires, thinking there's no harm in trying, or bargaining with the Lord, because the truth is that issues will arise later on.

The Bible says in Proverbs,

Proverbs 14:12 NLT

There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.

Let's save ourselves from the unnecessary pain that wrong relationships might bring.

It may start well, but it surely will not finish well.

Like Abraham's servant, we must also believe our Master in Heaven - that His will is the best and He has our best interest at us.

2. GENESIS 26: Isaac caresses her wife Rebekah

Genesis 26:8-10 NLT

But some time later, Abimelech, king of the Philistines, looked out his window and saw Isaac caressing Rebekah.

Immediately, Abimelech called for Isaac and exclaimed, “She is obviously your wife! Why did you say, ‘She is my sister’?” “Because I was afraid someone would kill me to get her from me,” Isaac replied.

“How could you do this to us?” Abimelech exclaimed. “One of my people might easily have taken your wife and slept with her, and you would have made us guilty of great sin.”

READ FULL STORY HERE

What we can learn from this story is the importance of spending time with our spouses, and this is not just a simple time; it is a time that ONLY a husband and a wife can SHARE.

The truth is marriage will not always be a sweet walk together, but a little mix of everything.

Its inertia is not to grow close together, but with the demands of life - kids, bills, chores - it may drift apart if we are not intentional in guarding and taking care of it.

Isaac caressing her wife Rebekah is a reminder that we must keep putting spices in our marriages.

Honoring it by honoring our marriage bed - don't stop "flirting" with our spouses, invest in each other.

Date each other once in a while.

Laugh together.

Surprise each other.

Tickle each other.

Enjoy each other, have fun!

King Abimelech had an interest in Rebekah, but when he saw how Isaac was intimately touching his wife Rebekah, this made King Abimelech stop his desire, and it saved the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah.

Let's not be ashamed of showing our affection to each other in public from time to time.

Let's talk about our spouses in front of our friends, officemates, relatives, churchmates even acquaintances.

Share their photos, and show some moments together in the open.

Don't hide them.

Let us not be too comfortable and complacent with our marriages - marriage is work, and love is an action, a choice, and a commitment.

For new and especially mature Christians, we all know that the Bible is our compass - its counseling is usually in the form of a warning, exhortation, and instruction.

Let's guard our hearts by listening to the scriptures, asking God to align our hearts with His.

Staying alert by being fervent in our prayers to the Lord, sharing the troubles and concerns of our hearts with Him, and asking for protection from the attacks of evil.

1 Peter 5:8 NIV

Be alert and of sober mind.

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 

Maybe sometimes we find it hard to celebrate our own spouse.

It is easier to give in to the frustrations and anger we feel at the moment than to pause and pray for ourselves and our spouses.

Of course, the devil loves to point out our spouse’s flaws because he is the accuser.

He comes to steal, kill, and destroy the happiness in our marriages.

They say that the natural inertia of a marriage is not to grow closer - life happens, children come, bills are unending, work is demanding, responsibilities are getting real, and so on; that's why we should always find ways to honor our marriages.

As they say "The grass is greener where you water it" so our marriages will be kept alive if we are investing in it.

As the Bible says in Galatians, whatever a man sows, he will also reap.

If we sow love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in our spouses - and if we do not give up doing these, then we will reap these things in due time.

Galatians 6:7,9

7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. 

9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

So how can we water our marriages?

1. WATER it with TIME

Spend time with your spouse.

Date them, Talk with them, Listen to them, Share stories, and Cultivate togetherness by finding and creating things you enjoy together.

As Audrey Hepburn says "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."

Hold your spouse.

Don't make them feel neglected.

Prioritized them.

Surprise them.

Serve them.

Lost time is never found again.

We can only invest time.

We cannot make more of it nor save any of it.

If we don't use it, we will lose it forever.

2. WATER it with WORDS

Speak not just words but life-giving words to our spouses.

Encourage one another, Affirm one another.

The Bible says that death and life are in the power of the tongue.

It's either our words will kill or bring life to those who hear them.

Words indeed pierce deeper than any swords.

Sometimes, it's better to be silent when we are angry since out of the overflow of our hearts, our mouths speak, and then when our hearts are hurt, we likewise speak hurts.

Proverbs 10:19

Too much talk leads to sin, but he who seals his lips is wise.

Let us be careful that with the same mouth, we don't speak both praises to God and curses to other people, especially to our spouses.

James 3:9-12

With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh?

3. WATER it with PRAYERS

Pray for your spouse.

Pray that the Lord will be pleased and glorified in your marriage.

Fights and conflicts are inevitable.

There will always be misunderstandings and mistakes, disappointments and hurts and pain and shortcomings, and so on - there's no such thing as a "perfect marriage" that is why we need to cover our marriages in prayers.

Pray for protection, for peace, for strength, for continuous joy, and so on.

Involve God in your marriage.

Pray not just for one another but pray together.

As we end this,

Do you know why Falling in love is easy?

Because you don't do anything - you just FALL.

But Staying in Love is different.

Staying is a choice.

And whenever your love for one another prevails, Marriage has to be celebrated.

So today, I am celebrating my husband.

I am in awe of Him, for the Love we have prevails, and keeps prevailing against the test of time. 

And we know that this Love we have is not from us.

We love because He first Loved us (1 John 4:19)

Happy 4th hon!

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, 

It's LOVE Month!

Let me highlight some sweetness, kindness, and thoughtfulness I received a little not so lately - 

Not from my husband but from the One who loved me first - JESUS 🤍

STORY 1:

There was this day when I was asking the Lord for a budget for my hair and makeup since we would be having an event in our company.

I need 1500 PHP to be exact.

That exact day, someone messaged me from the Facebook marketplace and she bought not just one but three paintings from me.

Do you know what amazes me more?

Each of my paintings cost 500 php! 😊

What a sweet Lord! Isn't He?

Hair and Makeup are not significant needs, to begin with, but for God to give me what I want instantly and very exactly - it melts my heart.

STORY 2:

I woke up one morning from a dream of eating a piece of "Mango Bravo".

It is a cake from a Bakeshop named "Contis" - so I was craving it all day.

I thought to myself it was too expensive to buy the whole cake given that there's no occasion to be celebrated, and if we just bought one slice, we would still need to buy some food to make our dine-out worthy; hence, I just decided to forget it.

Afternoon came, around 5pm.

Someone messaged us telling us that they would like to buy our baby a Birthday/Christmas present at the mall near us, so we went.

When we arrived they told us that they were at a restaurant cafe...

And Yup!

It's "Contis"

My heart immediately pounded at the thought of that cake! I realized that just when we surrendered our desire to the Lord, He give it in His own time. Praise you Lord!

STORY 3:

When we had our Christmas party last December, I had this particular prize I'm eyeing thinking that it was a house fragrance (because upon asking what is it, I found out it was not) well, I didn't get it even though I have put much effort to win the game.

Another Christmas party came, and so another gift is bound to be received.

To my heart's gladness, one of the items I got is a house fragrance! And it is big! He might not gave me what I want at the moment where I strongly want it because it is a wrong desire, indeed He gave it in the right time with a much better thing. He knows the best indeed!

Oh God, how sweet and thoughtful You really are!

Giving not just our needs but also those we desire.

Yes, it is God's desire to make our hearts glad too knowing it is good for us.

He wants to put smiles on our faces and extend His goodness to us.

Showing how much He knows us and cares for us.

If people who love us like our earthly parents or spouses desire to make us happy by granting our wishes what more is our Heavenly Father who loves us perfectly.

He doesn't withhold good things to whom it is due when it's in His power to do it.

Luke 11:11-13

What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

So this season of love, I encourage you to taste and see the sweetness of our Father in Heaven.

I can say, there's nothing like the sweetness of God. It touches the soul.

And more than the gifts and surprises, for me, it's His presence that blesses me.

Truly, it's the thought that counts and to think that God thinks of me, just makes me feel special, wanted, and pursued.

Indeed, He is not just my Ultimate Provider but my Ultimate Lover as well.

Happy LOVE Month!

Ps. Thanks to my husband for this surprise

This world tells us that love is a FEELING that can come and go.

I, myself once thought like this.

But if this is true, then love will fail us all the time. 

And it will never be strong enough to hold a marriage together - so this world created ways for us to leave it behind.

But this is NOT how God defines love.

Yes, feelings do come and go but that is IF Love is a feeling.

- because it is NOT.

The dangerous thing about looking at love as a feeling is the INCONSISTENCY of it.

It means we live based on our emotions.

The Bible tells us that true love is UNCONDITIONAL.

In reality, not every day is a good day.

There are days that we just can't get along with our spouse.

Well, truly finding love and being married are totally different things.

Finding love is something like a butterfly in your stomach which is mostly about the feeling of happiness.

It brings different levels of excitement and spark and chemistry and feeling of being in the air.

We are focus to see only the good part, the good things.

Marriage, on the other hand, is much like a little mix of everything.

Your spouse really brings out not only the best of who you are but also the worst.

It is not always a sweet walk together they say.

While marriage serves several purposes like companionship, support, intimacy, and procreation - the ultimate purpose of it will never be happiness but instead HOLINESS.

And while the world tells us to leave marriage when we are no longer happy, it's always the opposite of it.

Marriage has to be SANCTIFYING.

Not to mention that whatever status we are in - being single or married, it's always for the purpose of holiness.

None is better, and none is easier than the other.

The truth is sometimes we cannot get along with our spouse because we have something in our lives that is not CHRIST-LIKE.

And most of us don't want to deal with it.

We don't want to admit our faults.

We ignore that the ultimate problem is we just don't want to love like Jesus does.

Why?

- It's hard.

- It feels humiliating.

- It's too self-giving

- It's contrary to what this world says like "Do what makes you happy", "Follow your heart", "Put yourself first", etc...

We don't want to be sanctified.

We don't want to change.

We don't want to adjust.

You know what we want?

We want is...

 - just to be HAPPY.

And most of the time being happy means we have to be selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed.

We want the other person to change.

We want them to do what we want - to please us.

This is what our flesh craves - to be the first, the top, the priority.

We want to always be served - to receive.

And if everyone thinks this way and acts like it's ALL ABOUT THEM, then we have no hope for melody.

Everyone has their own AGENDA and so we have no hope for peace and LOVE will not truly exist.

So, that's why God set it to be ALL ABOUT HIM, walking in harmony having one perspective, one purpose, and one end goal.

Not to see love as an act of receiving but GIVING.

John 3:16

"For God so LOVED the world that He GAVE His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Even this famous verse says,

Love is indeed an act of GIVING.

It is a SACRIFICE.

He loves us so He gave His Son to us - His one and only Son.

Marrying someone means LOSING too.

We have to lose a lot of who we are in order for us to BECOME ONE with our spouse.

We have to let go of what we want, of what we prefer, of what we used to.

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

Rather, in humility VALUE others above yourselves,

not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Ps. Happy 3rd year wedding anniversary to us, my God's best!

I've been watching Kdrama lately after almost 6 yrs of stopping myself from it.

I still got butterflies in my stomach with all the love stories I watched and made me wonder what bible love stories feel like and look like.

What can we get from them?

What can we learn from God about them?

And so here they go.

1. Isaac and Rebekah

Genesis 24:62-65

Now Isaac had come from Beer Lahai Roi, for he was living in the Negev. 

He went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching.

Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac.

She got down from her camel and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?”

“He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself.

Genesis 24:67

Isaac brought her into the tent of her mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her;...

Love at first sight.

Although Isaac and Rebekah had not met each other before they got married they were able to love each other their entire lives because they chose to.

This may tell us that love is more than just a feeling, it is a commitment - A decision.

Their relationship shows us that marriage is deciding to love a person and that we can rely on God to keep us going and loving each other to the end even when differences and difficulties arise in the marriage.

2. Jacob and Leah

Genesis 28:1

So Isaac called for Jacob and blessed him. Then he commanded him: "Do not marry a Canaanite woman"...

Genesis 29:23

Laban took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and Jacob made love to her.

One of the very important principles in entering into a relationship is that we should look for a spouse from among God’s people and that our parents' blessing must also be sought.

Their wisdom shouldn't be disregarded.

If we get involved with unbelievers, with someone who has a different faith from ours we will have to deal with the differences in beliefs and values.

Worse, we might even follow theirs and abandon the Lord.

1 King 11:2

"You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods." Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love.

1 King 11:4

As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God... 

3. Hosea and Gomer

Hosea 1:1

When the Lord first began speaking to Israel through Hosea, he said to him, “Go and marry a prostitute, so that some of her children will be conceived in prostitution.

Hosea 3:1

The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”

If there's anything we can learn from Hosea and Gomer it is that we all marry imperfect people - a sinner.

God's love shines brightest through us when marriage is hardest.

We cannot stay in the marriage unless we truly love and fear the Lord.

Their love story displays what it means to be chosen, forgiven, and treasured by God.

Since every marriage is a union between two sinners, forgiveness will be a constant guest. 

It should always be welcome when it is knocking and celebrated when it prevails.

4. Joseph and Mary

Matthew 1:18-19

Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.

Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

I think this is a picture of "when love and respect kiss each other".

Though Joseph might found himself as the offended party, he did not make a big deal out of it by getting the attention to himself.

He has no plan of disgracing Mary publicly nor looking for sympathy of people towards him.

His love is kind and while he might felt angry and disappointed, in his anger, he did not sin.

While these stories might not give that same feeling of excitement and romance to our bones - these for sure are kind to last because it is God who wrote them.

It is the picture of the gospel.

How Christ loves his bride, the church.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...

Furthermore, did you know that the Bible itself even began and ended in a wedding?

The picture of God giving Eve to Adam and Jesus Christ welcoming His bride, the church.

Genesis 2:18

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Genesis 2:24-25

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Revelations 21:2-3

I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.  

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.

Philippians 4:6-8

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.

Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.

His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.

Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Do I fear?

- Yes, we are having a baby and I still have no vaccine.

- I fear every time I went to our checkups and whenever my husband goes outside to do some errands.

- I fear whenever my parents and siblings got a cough or cold.

- I fear bad news.

Do I feel sad?

- My heart is broken for the Afghan people.

- I feel sad whenever I received a prayer request about healing and recovery from my friends - even about deaths.

- I feel sad that our families and friends are not witnessing how my baby bump grows.

- I feel sad that I can't see my family and celebrate my upcoming birthday with them.

Am I still happy?

- Yes, because I'm excited for our baby and this season is new for me.

- I'm enjoying being taking care of my husband.

- I enjoy the baby's every movement in my tummy. 

- I love it when my husband also feel and see the baby's movement.

- Seeing our baby's ultrasound makes me happy.

- and I love hearing our Baby's heartbeat.

Am I at peace?

- Sometimes I am not but most of the time yes.

God has comforted and still encouraging me with His words.

I need to be reminded daily and have to feed myself with God's truth and love for me to be at peace.

These verses helped me a lot whenever I don't feel okay,  whenever trouble starting to fill me up, and whenever bad news is robbing me of my peace.

1. Psalm 112:7

They do not fear bad news;

they confidently trust the LORD to care for them.

(Because as I said, I fear bad news, can we just all have good news?)

2. Psalm 121:6-8

The sun will not harm you by day nor the moon by night.

The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life.

The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.

(As I fear going outside for myself, my husband, and our families)

3. Proverbs 10:24

The fears of the wicked will be fulfilled;

the hopes of the godly will.be granted.

4. Proverbs 10:28

The hopes of the godly results in happiness, but the expectations of the wicked come to nothing.

(Am I wicked? why would "fear" dominate my thoughts? Jesus said worries dominate the thoughts of unbelievers.)

5. Proverbs 31:25

She laughs without fear of the future.

(Laugh and be happy. Enjoy the moment. Joyful are those whose hopes are in the Lord.)

I am not okay all the time.

I think a lot - I overthink a lot.

And the truth is all people will not always be okay and it's okay.

Because it's an opportunity for Jesus - to be seen, to be heard, and to be felt.

Sorrows, pain, tears, sicknesses, wars - and anything negative we could think of is a product of sin.

Anything that hurts us is a part of this imperfect world.

That's why Jesus said that in the new heaven and new earth there will be no more tears - nothing could hurt us anymore.

Revelations 21:4

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.

We shouldn't be surprised if we feel afraid, sad, or worried at times - If we feel trouble or if we wanna cry.

But we shouldn't also feel guilty if we feel joyful and peaceful at times - It means Jesus has taken over our minds and filled our hearts with hopes.

When the time is right, I the Lord will make it happen. 

Pandemic isn't a good word. Isn't it?

It brings fear, depression, hopelessness, anxiety, boredom, loneliness, and many more negative feelings we can think of.

For sure this word has brought us some sort of emotional stress that maybe only the Lord knew.

I remember when Covid 19 cases were rising here in the Philippines as our wedding day approaches, I was so anxious.

I am confused about whether I want to hasten time to the day of our wedding or to stop time to make the virus stop spreading.

Well, pause.

In this blog, I will not highlight the personal drama I have gone through during that period. 😄

I'm done with it, Praise God! 😊

I wanna highlight how really the Lord turned something negative into such praise-worthy things!

1. THE WEDDING

Our families on our wedding day

The wedding might be postponed but I got the chance to spent more time with my family - 6 more months with them.

Before getting married, I was so excited to be with my husband now.

We've been for 10 years together and for me, 10 years is more than enough of waiting for both of us.

But looking back I am so grateful God extended our waiting because I am missing my family from time to time.

I miss the life with my parents and my siblings though I am completely happy with my husband right now.

I realized that my life has really a new chapter now.

I'm absorbing the fact that I cannot go back to the time when I was still under my parents' ultimate care, - less freedom but less responsibility.

But yes, the postponed wedding is not ultimately a bad thing.

I treasure those postponed periods with my first love - my family.

2. CALLIGRAPHY AND PAINTING

Have you heard the word "ArTherapy"?

I was not so serious with calligraphy before. I just do it from time to time whenever my feeling calls me to.

But boredom strikes and I needed to do things that time to divert my attention not to stay from the emotional and mental stress I think I was going through.

That's when I started to join the #30daysofBibleLetteringChallenge where I will write bible verses for 30 days.

Day 1/30

This was the point where I got the chance to know some artists.

And as I was connecting with them, I was encouraged to explore art more - like painting florals, landscapes, coffees, bread, humans, and many more.

I almost painted every day until one day, God has impressed some people's hearts to appreciate it by giving me the chance to make art for them - and I'm getting paid for it!

My first ever orders!

Not only that, since I wasn't able to go outside to buy my journaling stuff for my quiet time.

I was pushed to make my own stickers, pure hand-made first but now we are printing it 😊

My first ever hand-made stickers!

Now from painted to printed :)

Have my own Lazada store now :)

I remember when He said to Come to Him and He will show great and mighty things which we do not know (Jeremiah 33:3)

After a year I can say that God has blessed the work of my hands more than I could think of.

It overwhelms me to think that He has brought me here where I am right now.

He has opened doors and still unwrapping things in store for us.

To conclude, 

Who would have thought there is beauty in ashes?

Leviticus 26:35

As long as the land lies in RUINS, it will ENJOY the rest you never allowed it to take...

Leviticus 26:43

For the land must be ABANDONED to ENJOY its years of Sabbath rest as it lies DESSERTED.

How ironic these verses are right?

Ruined, Abandoned, Desserted - who would enjoy such things as these?

But yes, with God - We can. We will.

We might not see it at the moment, but in time, we will understand.

We will appreciate all that He is doing.

Be encouraged.

To us who might be going through this tough season - Believe that God can turn things up.

We will not forever feel deserted or abandoned, there is a reason why God is allowing us to experience such things for a reason that we cannot comprehend right now.

Romans 8:28

And we KNOW that God causes all things to work together for GOOD to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.