We sometimes resent that our life isn’t what it once was - Or perhaps the “sameness” of life has caused us to be discontent, pushing us to wander this world and seek what it has to offer.

Have you heard the phrase "Someone who has broken down the fence wanders endlessly"?

Surely, there must be no harm in searching for the meaning and purpose of our lives - but there is a serious danger when we do it alone, following our heart's desires and lowering our guard. 

We can be easily attacked by the "roaring lions" and eventually become lost.

In Jeremiah we read that our hearts are crafty - they cannot be trusted.

Jeremiah 17:9 NLT

The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?

Jesus also said that nothing good comes from our hearts. 

Matthew 15:19 NLT

For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.

We MUST NOT follow our heart, but instead guard it, for everything we do flows from it.

Don't break or lower the fence we are in.

We must guard it.

We must stay alert.

How? Let's unfold some stories from the book of Genesis and learn from them.

1. GENESIS 24: A Wife for Isaac

Genesis 24:39-40 NLT

“But I said to my master, ‘What if I can’t find a young woman who is willing to go back with me?’ He responded, ‘The Lord, in whose presence I have lived, will send his angel with you and will make your mission successful. Yes, you must find a wife for my son from among my relatives, from my father’s family.

READ FULL STORY HERE

This story serves as a reminder of the firm FAITH of Abraham's servant in choosing a spouse for his master's son.

CAREFULLY obeying all instructions given by his master, Abraham.

First of is, it must be from his father's family, not to mention how long the journey from Canaan to Haran is and the possibility that there will be no woman willing to go with him and marry Isaac.

- Yet this servant believes what his master believes in - that surely God will make his journey successful.

We cannot settle for less in choosing the one we will going to marry.

Someone we choose to love or pour our energy and focus into will surely affect our walk with the Lord.

It is very important that we mustn't let our hearts be captivated by those who are not in the family of faith, even if the search and waiting are long, or there is no assurance that we will meet our future spouses or not.

Don't settle for less or compromise with our values as Christians, following our heart's desires, thinking there's no harm in trying, or bargaining with the Lord, because the truth is that issues will arise later on.

The Bible says in Proverbs,

Proverbs 14:12 NLT

There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.

Let's save ourselves from the unnecessary pain that wrong relationships might bring.

It may start well, but it surely will not finish well.

Like Abraham's servant, we must also believe our Master in Heaven - that His will is the best and He has our best interest at us.

2. GENESIS 26: Isaac caresses her wife Rebekah

Genesis 26:8-10 NLT

But some time later, Abimelech, king of the Philistines, looked out his window and saw Isaac caressing Rebekah.

Immediately, Abimelech called for Isaac and exclaimed, “She is obviously your wife! Why did you say, ‘She is my sister’?” “Because I was afraid someone would kill me to get her from me,” Isaac replied.

“How could you do this to us?” Abimelech exclaimed. “One of my people might easily have taken your wife and slept with her, and you would have made us guilty of great sin.”

READ FULL STORY HERE

What we can learn from this story is the importance of spending time with our spouses, and this is not just a simple time; it is a time that ONLY a husband and a wife can SHARE.

The truth is marriage will not always be a sweet walk together, but a little mix of everything.

Its inertia is not to grow close together, but with the demands of life - kids, bills, chores - it may drift apart if we are not intentional in guarding and taking care of it.

Isaac caressing her wife Rebekah is a reminder that we must keep putting spices in our marriages.

Honoring it by honoring our marriage bed - don't stop "flirting" with our spouses, invest in each other.

Date each other once in a while.

Laugh together.

Surprise each other.

Tickle each other.

Enjoy each other, have fun!

King Abimelech had an interest in Rebekah, but when he saw how Isaac was intimately touching his wife Rebekah, this made King Abimelech stop his desire, and it saved the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah.

Let's not be ashamed of showing our affection to each other in public from time to time.

Let's talk about our spouses in front of our friends, officemates, relatives, churchmates even acquaintances.

Share their photos, and show some moments together in the open.

Don't hide them.

Let us not be too comfortable and complacent with our marriages - marriage is work, and love is an action, a choice, and a commitment.

For new and especially mature Christians, we all know that the Bible is our compass - its counseling is usually in the form of a warning, exhortation, and instruction.

Let's guard our hearts by listening to the scriptures, asking God to align our hearts with His.

Staying alert by being fervent in our prayers to the Lord, sharing the troubles and concerns of our hearts with Him, and asking for protection from the attacks of evil.

1 Peter 5:8 NIV

Be alert and of sober mind.

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 

Maybe sometimes we find it hard to celebrate our own spouse.

It is easier to give in to the frustrations and anger we feel at the moment than to pause and pray for ourselves and our spouses.

Of course, the devil loves to point out our spouse’s flaws because he is the accuser.

He comes to steal, kill, and destroy the happiness in our marriages.

They say that the natural inertia of a marriage is not to grow closer - life happens, children come, bills are unending, work is demanding, responsibilities are getting real, and so on; that's why we should always find ways to honor our marriages.

As they say "The grass is greener where you water it" so our marriages will be kept alive if we are investing in it.

As the Bible says in Galatians, whatever a man sows, he will also reap.

If we sow love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in our spouses - and if we do not give up doing these, then we will reap these things in due time.

Galatians 6:7,9

7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. 

9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

So how can we water our marriages?

1. WATER it with TIME

Spend time with your spouse.

Date them, Talk with them, Listen to them, Share stories, and Cultivate togetherness by finding and creating things you enjoy together.

As Audrey Hepburn says "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."

Hold your spouse.

Don't make them feel neglected.

Prioritized them.

Surprise them.

Serve them.

Lost time is never found again.

We can only invest time.

We cannot make more of it nor save any of it.

If we don't use it, we will lose it forever.

2. WATER it with WORDS

Speak not just words but life-giving words to our spouses.

Encourage one another, Affirm one another.

The Bible says that death and life are in the power of the tongue.

It's either our words will kill or bring life to those who hear them.

Words indeed pierce deeper than any swords.

Sometimes, it's better to be silent when we are angry since out of the overflow of our hearts, our mouths speak, and then when our hearts are hurt, we likewise speak hurts.

Proverbs 10:19

Too much talk leads to sin, but he who seals his lips is wise.

Let us be careful that with the same mouth, we don't speak both praises to God and curses to other people, especially to our spouses.

James 3:9-12

With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh?

3. WATER it with PRAYERS

Pray for your spouse.

Pray that the Lord will be pleased and glorified in your marriage.

Fights and conflicts are inevitable.

There will always be misunderstandings and mistakes, disappointments and hurts and pain and shortcomings, and so on - there's no such thing as a "perfect marriage" that is why we need to cover our marriages in prayers.

Pray for protection, for peace, for strength, for continuous joy, and so on.

Involve God in your marriage.

Pray not just for one another but pray together.

As we end this,

Do you know why Falling in love is easy?

Because you don't do anything - you just FALL.

But Staying in Love is different.

Staying is a choice.

And whenever your love for one another prevails, Marriage has to be celebrated.

So today, I am celebrating my husband.

I am in awe of Him, for the Love we have prevails, and keeps prevailing against the test of time. 

And we know that this Love we have is not from us.

We love because He first Loved us (1 John 4:19)

Happy 4th hon!

Most of us think that marriage is bliss and every marriage is a happy ever after.

After all, I married my prince charming and I will be his princess forever.

There will be no fighting, no disagreements, arguments, or struggles.

My husband says maybe that's why most fairytales end in a wedding because it will be a different story if we read it further.

In a perfect world, living a happily ever after is possible but since marriage is a union of two imperfect people living in an imperfect world - these are inevitable.

We are surprised by the reality that our prince charming is not ALWAYS charming at all and we are not ALWAYS treated the way we wanted to be treated as their princess.

Sometimes it feels like we married the wrong person - they must be the villain or the witch.

And there is really no fairy godmother to the rescue.

So are we saying that we cannot live a happy married life?

- Of course not :)

The truth is every marriage will always be under attack by the enemy, that's why we have to work for it.

And they say that God doesn't ultimately fix marriages, but He fixes people in it first.

Good marriage follows when the person in it changes.

They also say that we don't have to have a great marriage, we have to be the great spouse by focusing on what we can control.

Men and women are wired differently.

They were made differently.

God made men out of the dust of the earth while women were made out of a man.

In marriage, husbands and wives also have different roles.

Looking throughout the Bible we see one woman who exceeds the role of being a wife - She is called a woman with a noble character.

Her worth is far above rubies.

And she is his husband's most precious treasure.

Proverbs 18:22

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,  and he receives favor from the LORD.

So what's in the heart of this woman that her husband and children praise her?

As a woman ourselves, what can we learn from her?

1. A Heart that can be TRUSTED

A TRUSTWORTHY wife is more concerned about doing her husband good than how much good is he doing to her.

Her husband's heart fully trusts her.

He doesn't hide anything from her because he has confidence in her.

Her husband doesn't worry about the way she handles their resources.

Nor does he bother sharing anything including his failures because he is not afraid to be judged or to be blamed whenever things go out of their way.

He feels respected - and this is how men translate love.

We respect them not based on how good are they doing but because of their position in the house - and this is WISDOM.

They are the head - the Leader.

The Bible even says Sarah obeys Abraham by calling him Lord.

They say that a man wouldn't fight for the leadership in his home.

He will quit.

He wouldn't fight to get that respect.

Proverbs 21:9

It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.

Respect also includes the way we treat them both in private and in public.

How we speak about them in front of others - including our jokes about them.

Respect also involves how we listen to them.

Their opinion matters - it is valuable.

It means we also consider our husband's wishes.

2. A Heart that CARES

A CARING wife means we nurture the things God has entrusted around us.

We bring out the best in them, that's why the Bible calls us "helpers"

Nurturing BEGINS in our home.

Regardless of whether the house is big or small, remember that wherever we live, that is our home and our husband wants us to take care of it.

Part of caring is being appreciative of our husbands.

A man has a big responsibility to provide for his family that's why they need appreciation.

Words are also a huge part of nurturing someone; hence, the way we speak to our husbands plays an important role in whether they will succeed in leading our home.

We are not called helpers because they are already perfect.

My husband says that how can I help him if I am not encouraging him, I am not believing in him, I am not cheering him up.

Be careful not to speak discouragement to them - our words have the POWER to build them up and to tear them down.

Someone says that we have to recognize our husband's efforts even if they don't meet our expectations.

Because our affirmation in responding to their effort will encourage them to make more effort.

Also, a woman who truly cares carefully watches her household.

She rises early and prepares food for her family.

She doesn't suffer from idleness.

She is purposeful in her time and this is WISDOM.

She clothes his husband and children with not just clothes but with SCARLET clothes.

She does all these things with DELIGHT.

The whole household is in order because she CARES.

Her children feel blessed to have her.

Her husband feels proud of her.

Proverbs 12:4

An excellent wife is the CROWN of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.

She brings honor to her husband.

Lastly, we cannot be caring and not to be kind.

This wife extends help to the needy.

She does not hesitate to extend her hands to the poor because she believes that the LORD owns all things and that her future is secured in the Lord.

She can SMILE while thinking of the future.

This is also WISDOM.

3. A Heart that is BEAUTIFUL inside-out

They say that no man married his wife as an act of mercy.

The Bible even mentioned that Rebekah was beautiful in form and appearance.

In this proverb, the woman is cloth in fine linen and purple gown.

She takes care of herself - of her well-being as well.

She makes herself lovely for his husband.

The way we dress and look nice is also WISDOM.

But don't get it wrong, making ourselves presentable and obsessing over our looks are two different things.

A woman whose heart has been made beautiful through holiness will delight in dressing in a way that pleases her Lord.

The outside appearance is important but only secondary to what we look on the inside.

This proverb also highlights that charm is deceitful and that beauty is fleeting.

This woman clothes himself not just with good clothes but also with strength and dignity.

The inner beauty of a woman is also WISDOM.

A beautiful woman without a good character is a waste of beauty.

It is like a gold ring on a pig's nose they say, just a waste of beauty.

Proverbs 31:10-31

A wife of noble character, who can find?

She is far more precious than rubies.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

and he lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good and not harm

all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax

and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships,

bringing her food from afar.

She rises while it is still night

to provide food for her household

and portions for her maidservants.

She appraises a field and buys it;

from her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She girds herself with strength

and shows that her arms are strong.

 

She sees that her gain is good,

and her lamp is not extinguished at night.

She stretches out her hands to the distaff

and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor

and reaches out her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household,

for they are all clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed;

her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Her husband is known at the city gate,

where he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them;

she delivers sashes to the merchants.

Strength and honor are her clothing,

and she can laugh at the days to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and call her blessed;

her husband praises her as well:

“Many daughters have done noble things,

but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Give her the fruit of her hands,

and let her works praise her at the gates

 To wrap this up, I think this woman exemplifies wisdom because she took to her heart what the Bible says in 1 PETER 3:1-6

Maybe let's dig into these verses a little further on our next blog.

Thank you for reading :)