PSALM 77, Pour - Process - Praise

Amazingly the Lord is so good in controlling my feelings these past weeks.

It seems like I was in a roller-coaster ride.

Sometimes I'm okay, sometimes I am not.

I feel emotional, I feel hyper, I feel nothing - I'm just moving.

I wouldn't say I am totally okay with what happened to us.

When some of my friends keep sending me successful wedding stories amidst this COVID 19 Pandemic - I can say, I'm not okay with it.

It made me sad.

I envy them - and yes, it made me cry again.

I am not encouraged though I know so well that they were really just concerned about me wanting to encourage me and give me some hope in such time as this.

I really appreciate them, I swear.

I love them.

I'm thankful for their effort in reaching me out and remembering me.

I just don't understand myself.

I really want to feel happy for those successful stories but I don't know why I found myself bitter coming back to God asking Him, "When Lord?" "How long?", "Have you forgotten me?", "Are you not faithful to me anymore?", "Is my faith becoming weak?", "Why us?", "Why now?" "Why not just stop this?".

As I was searching for some encouragement, I came across an article on a Christian website entitled "When my soul refused to be comforted."

I felt this is just me.

The verse says...

(v.2)  My soul refuse to be comforted.

(v.3)  When I remember God, I am disturbed.

(v.4)  I feel so trouble, I cannot speak.

(v.8)  Will I never be favorable again?

(v.9)  Has His promise come to an end forever?

(v.10) It is my grief that the right hand of God has changed.

This is what's really in my heart.

That's the voice within me.

I am disturbed by the thought that God will not keep His promises for me anymore.

Because at this very moment, the answer to my questions has appeared to have an emotional impact of yes.

COVID is not doing well here, our papers expired, no updates from our church's premarital department and the admin of our condominium are not permitting construction in the site yet.

Things around are not getting better at least for my perspective and it shakes my confidence with what God has said to me beforehand.

I'm searching the Lord for an answer to restore my confidence but I found nothing.

And my waiting is becoming harder for the Lord seems silent.

While I was in this roller-coaster emotions,

I appreciate how God's timeline is so good!

Amazingly, my Bible reading is about Job and I decided to take some deep study about it.

Job is a story of pain and suffering - not just suffering but the suffering of a godly man.

And this is the highlight of this book.

Maybe, Job's story will not be this known if perhaps he is a bad person in the sight of humanity.

We know that Job is not without sin because he too inherits the sins of Adam like all of us.

But God says, he is blameless and upright.

He has sins but in people's eyes, he is basically a good man.

At the end of this book, we can say that God doesn't explain to Job the reason for his pain and suffering instead, God shows how in His wisdom He has created the whole universe and everything in it.

This book never intended to answer the question of why pain, suffering, and evil exist but it wants to invite us to trust God's character and wisdom.

For our theology doesn't end that God is good and sovereign but that He is also wise and eternal.

He is outside time. He will never be late nor be too early. His timing will be just right - always.

The reason why Job cannot defend himself properly from the accusations of his friends is that he too really don't know why.

For our thoughts cannot reach God's thought. We cannot comprehend His ways.

They are way higher as Isaiah said.

Isaiah 55:8

For my thoughts are not your thoughts nor are your ways My ways.

So what now?

What to do while waiting and God seems silent?

Our senior pastor share with us some steps.

1. Pour

2. Process

3. Praise

Pour out your feelings to God.

It's okay to be emotional.

God will not judge you.

Like Job's story, God did not rush in to reprimands Job's drama.

He may seem silent but we know at the end of the chapter God is listening.

Then, Process your feelings and emotions together with God.

Be encouraged with some characters from the Bible who too waited in the Lord.

Abraham waited for a promised son,

Moses waited for a promised deliverance,

Joshua waited for a promised land,

David waited for a promised kingdom,

And many more others we can name of.

Like Asaph in this Psalm, let us be reminded of what history and the bible tells us - that God is always faithful to His promises.

(v.11) I shall remember the deeds of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.

(v.12) I will meditate on all Your work And muse on Your deeds.

Lastly, Praise the Lord.

Praising the Lord in advance in times of waiting is the best way to demonstrate our faith to Him.

He might be working in different ways.

In things, we cannot understand like Job but everything He does is holy.

It might be hidden from our eyes but God never stops working.

(v.14) Your way, O God is holy...

(v.19) Your way was in the sea and Your paths in the mighty waters, And Your footprints may not be known.

Now, I'm learning that in our waiting, never stop seeking and just keep praying.

Believing that at the end of all of these, we will find out that finding Him is the ultimate comfort we can ever have.