Showing posts with label Disappointment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Disappointment. Show all posts

Sunday, September 1, 2024

EZEKIEL 37:4-6, HOPE in Marriage




Four years married! Wow!
Not long but I'm already having hardships (he he) - not in a wrong way to be taken because conflict is inevitable in marriage or in life in general.

Marriage is a wonderful place to be when things are well and sweet but when things are rough and bitter, I find myself saying, "Why did I get married?"

Well, I guess that's why they say for better or for worse since marriage is a UNION of two IMPERFECT people living in an IMPERFECT world.
Jesus even says that in this world we will have trouble right? But take heart! He has overcome it! - yes, not us but Him.

In life, I don't think we can overcome things on our own.
Our struggles, longings, bondages, addictions, and many more hardships we can name of.
These things cannot be defeated by our own strength, instead, it has to be surrendered to the One who has the power to overcome them - His name is JESUS.

So what are the practical ways of surrendering our battles to the Lord?

I will be focusing on the context of marriage as it is my heart's desire that all of us will not just ENDURE married life but also ENJOY it for the glory of God.

Let's put it in the acronym of H-O-P-E
Because there is always hope in the Lord :)

1. H-UMBLE ourselves.
Acknowledge the need for a Savior.
Admit that our marriage is not perfect.
We're having problems as couples.
There are hurtings and misunderstandings, big fights, and lonely nights.

Only humble people will seek help from the Lord.
Prideful people don't think they need help.
Those who are self-sufficient will not seek Him.

So let's humble ourselves before God.
He is close to the brokenhearted and surely a broken and contrite heart, He will not despise.

Isaiah 57:15
"I live in a high and holy place, but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to REVIVE the spirit of the lowly and to REVIVE the heart of the contrite..."


2. O-PEN it to the Light
There is fear and shame in admitting that our marriage is going through some downhill path.
Hence, our usual response is to convince ourselves that we can resolve this on our own and people won't understand and will judge us anyway.

The danger of keeping our struggles alone is like putting ourselves in the hidden - and the enemy, Satan, works powerfully in the dark. He wants to hide us from people so he can attack us alone.

It is also possible that our hearts will become callous when we hide our sins and struggles.
If we don't renounce it in the open then no amount of preaching, studying, fellowship, or discipleship can rebuke it.

Let's beware of isolation.
We all need someone to walk with.
We all need people to share our life with.

2 Timothy 2:22
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.


3. P-RAY unceasingly
They say that nothing can wreak havoc in your marriage unless it is given more thought than prayer, and more attention to our spouses than Jesus.

Do we invest our energy in thinking about how can we change our spouses rather than praying for them?
Are we focusing on our spouses rather than on Jesus?

Indeed, every marriage needs a prayer because it is constantly being attacked.
Satan is in the business of stealing joy, killing life, and destroying families.

So pray for one another, for our spouses, and for ourselves 
Don't be complacent.
Marriage is a work and prayer is work.
It doesn't mean that when we seek God in the beginning, we'll seek Him until the end.

1 Kings 4:11
As Solomon GREW OLD, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been

Let's pray for peace in our marriages and seek to maintain it.
I hear this line somewhere saying "If one of you is a peacemaker, your marriage will survive but if both of you commit to becoming peacemakers, then your marriage will thrive!"

Luke 18:1
Now He was telling them (the disciples) a parable to show that at ALL TIMES they ought to pray and not to lose heart,


4. E-XPECT God's presence
I think this is the hardest thing to do among the four because expecting the Lord's action involves waiting on Him.

And we cannot wait with someone without believing that He will come or do what He says.
Waiting requires FAITH.

Faith as the Bible tells us is the ASSURANCE of things HOPED for and BELIEVING of things we don't see YET.

Faith is knowing that our expectations will not put us in vain.
It is understanding that our encounter with Jesus is the ultimate blessing while waiting.

Jeremiah 11:13-14
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, 

To end, I want us to be encouraged by these verses from Ezekiel,

Ezekiel 37:4-6
...'Dry bones, listen to the word of the LORD! This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Look! I am going to put breath into you and make you live again! I will put flesh and muscles on you and cover you with skin. I will put breath into you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.'"


If God can put life to the dry bones then He can put life into our marriages too.

If He can resurrect a dead person, then He can resurrect dead marriages too. 

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Saturday, February 19, 2022

GENESIS 28:16, When God intervene



Genesis 28:16
Surely, the Lord is in this place and I did not know it.

This verse reminds me of how God works from the background of our lives.
And we are not always aware of it.

The busyness of this world - the demands of it, the lure of wealth, fame, and power - all these things have shifted our focus and distracted us from the One who truly deserves the credit.

Yet not knowing doesn't equally mean that it is not happening. 

We are in a time where anxiousness, worries, stress, and fear are greater.
We are all scared to meet this virus called Covid 19 yet ultimately it is only God who can hide us from this.

So, If we haven't gotten that Covid, then it's God who is keeping us from it.
And If we have survived that Covid, then it's still Him who has saved us from it.

Behind every victory, every healing, every relief, every okay - It was God who helped us to get through it.

I remember one time when I was so frustrated with my breastmilk production because my baby can't get enough milk supply at that time.
He's crying all the time I was nursing him.
His poops were dry like tiny rocks.
His pee was light reddish and he reached 38+ deg C temperature.
So I broke down one night in our bathroom crying to the Lord to send us some help.
I was so disappointed with myself.
I pitied my baby.

It was Friday night.
I birth my baby Tuesday and went home on Thursday. 
Saturday came - and that's when God intervened.

1st, He sent our two moms to help us and take care of us. Truly, mother knows best.

2nd, I received a message from a friend telling me that she remembered me and would like to send us some Malunggay leaves - which she did with also some fruits with it.

3rd, another friend of mine called me telling me that they will send some gifts to my baby plus I got the chance to share with her the stress I was going through at that time.
And through her, I met a mom who also went through the same sentiments as mine.

These people brought strength and encouragement to me that day.
It's like Friday night I was crying and came Saturday morning - we were rescued.

Help didn't end that day.
One relative also sends me lactation treats!
Indeed, the Lord's help doesn't just make you okay - it also makes you happy. 

Yes, we asked for our moms to come but that friend who gave us Malunggay leaves and fruits, the unexpected call with a gift, that person who gave me advice knowing that I was not the only one who is struggling with breastfeeding and that lactation treats - Those, we did not.

Perhaps it is God - no! it is really God.

If we put it in the Bible times - maybe, the Lord has also sent His angels to them in a dream or in a vision.
Like the stories of king Abimelech to Abraham, Laban to Jacob, King Balak to the Israelites, and Joseph to Mary. 

1. ABIMELECH TO ABRAHAM 
When Abraham lied about his wife Sarah out of his fear of king Abimelech.
The Lord saved Abraham and Sarah by appearing to Abimelech in a dream and they were freed.

Genesis 20:3
But God came to Abimelech in a dream of the night and said to him, "Behold, you are a deadman because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is married.

2. LABAN TO JACOB
Jacob was fleeing from his uncle Laban but Laban was planning to pursue him.
And so the Lord came to Laban in a dream one night telling him not to go against Jacob.

Genesis 22:12
God came to Laban the Aramean in a dream of the night and said to him, "Be careful that you do not speak to Jacob either good or bad."

3. KING BALAK TO ISRAELITES 
King Balak attempted to curse the Israelites out of fear that they might also be defeated and conquered.
So he asked Balaam to curse these people but God came to the rescue.
He told Balaam to tell nothing but just blessing to them.

Numbers 22:20
That night God came to Balaam and told him, “Since these men have come for you, get up and go with them. But do only what I tell you to do.”


4. JOSEPH TO MARY
Joseph planned to back out marrying Mary for she was found pregnant.
So the Lord intervene by sending angel Gabriel to him explaining that Mary was conceived by the Holy Spirit and not by any other man.

Matthew 1:20
As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit.

All these stories tell us that if God is for us then who can be against us (Romans 8:31).

Like Abraham, He can rescue us even if we have already made some bad decisions, big or small.
And even if our past is not good like Jacob's, He does not count it as a basis to whether He will help us or not.

God is so gracious that He will even prevent something to happen just to protect us like when He preserved the Israelites from a battle they didn't even know was coming, from a storm they didn't even know was raging.

Lastly, God will fight for us while we keep silent (Exodus 14:14).
He can defend us while we cannot speak for ourselves like Mary.

God can use many things - His people and even angels to rescue us.
After all, Bible tells us that angels were ministering spirits sent to God's people (Hebrews 1:14).
And indeed, with God, nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37).
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Wednesday, March 17, 2021

ROMANS 8:28, One year since lockdown



Isaiah 60:22

When the time is right, I the Lord will make it happen. 

Pandemic isn't a good word. Isn't it?


It brings fear, depression, hopelessness, anxiety, boredom, loneliness, and many more negative feelings we can think of.


For sure this word has brought us some sort of emotional stress that maybe only the Lord knew.


I remember when Covid 19 cases were rising here in the Philippines as our wedding day approaches, I was so anxious.

I am confused about whether I want to hasten time to the day of our wedding or to stop time to make the virus stop spreading.


Well, pause.


In this blog, I will not highlight the personal drama I have gone through during that period. 😄

I'm done with it, Praise God! 😊


I wanna highlight how really the Lord turned something negative into such praise-worthy things!


1. THE WEDDING

Our families on our wedding day

The wedding might be postponed but I got the chance to spent more time with my family - 6 more months with them.


Before getting married, I was so excited to be with my husband now.

We've been for 10 years together and for me, 10 years is more than enough of waiting for both of us.


But looking back I am so grateful God extended our waiting because I am missing my family from time to time.

I miss the life with my parents and my siblings though I am completely happy with my husband right now.

I realized that my life has really a new chapter now.

I'm absorbing the fact that I cannot go back to the time when I was still under my parents' ultimate care, - less freedom but less responsibility.

But yes, the postponed wedding is not ultimately a bad thing.

I treasure those postponed periods with my first love - my family.


2. CALLIGRAPHY AND PAINTING


Have you heard the word "ArTherapy"?

I was not so serious with calligraphy before. I just do it from time to time whenever my feeling calls me to.


But boredom strikes and I needed to do things that time to divert my attention not to stay from the emotional and mental stress I think I was going through.

That's when I started to join the #30daysofBibleLetteringChallenge where I will write bible verses for 30 days.

Day 1/30

This was the point where I got the chance to know some artists.

And as I was connecting with them, I was encouraged to explore art more - like painting florals, landscapes, coffees, bread, humans, and many more.


I almost painted every day until one day, God has impressed some people's hearts to appreciate it by giving me the chance to make art for them - and I'm getting paid for it!


My first ever orders!

Not only that, since I wasn't able to go outside to buy my journaling stuff for my quiet time.

I was pushed to make my own stickers, pure hand-made first but now we are printing it 😊


My first ever hand-made stickers!


Now from painted to printed :)

Have my own Lazada store now :)



I remember when He said to Come to Him and He will show great and mighty things which we do not know (Jeremiah 33:3)


After a year I can say that God has blessed the work of my hands more than I could think of.

It overwhelms me to think that He has brought me here where I am right now.

He has opened doors and still unwrapping things in store for us.


To conclude, 

Who would have thought there is beauty in ashes?


Leviticus 26:35

As long as the land lies in RUINS, it will ENJOY the rest you never allowed it to take...


Leviticus 26:43

For the land must be ABANDONED to ENJOY its years of Sabbath rest as it lies DESSERTED.


How ironic these verses are right?

Ruined, Abandoned, Desserted - who would enjoy such things as these?


But yes, with God - We can. We will.

We might not see it at the moment, but in time, we will understand.

We will appreciate all that He is doing.


Be encouraged.

To us who might be going through this tough season - Believe that God can turn things up.

We will not forever feel deserted or abandoned, there is a reason why God is allowing us to experience such things for a reason that we cannot comprehend right now.


Romans 8:28

And we KNOW that God causes all things to work together for GOOD to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.


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Saturday, October 24, 2020

ISAIAH 49:23, Our waiting continues

Isaiah 49:23
Those who hopefully wait for Me will never be put to shame.

Yes, we are here now at the moment we have waited for.

But I realized one thing - and that our waiting won't stop while living.

It just that each one of us has our own period of waiting.

When one ends, another will come.
From the simple waiting of dinner time to weekend rest then to the life-changing waiting period of a graduation day to employment day or engagement day to the wedding day, and so on.

Waiting seems to have no end.
But Why?

Because our hearts long for something - it keeps seeking.

Achieving something here on earth won't give us the full rest we long for.

It seems there's something in our hearts that no event nor things would fill.

Someone says, there is a God-shaped vacuum in our hearts that only God could fill.
And so we will keep on waiting for something - for someone until Christ Jesus returns again.

He is the One we ultimately wait for - the One who can only make us feel whole and complete, satisfied, and fulfilled.
And not until He comes back again, our life will go on waiting and waiting which means working and working.

So, are we doomed to despair because life is just a cycle of waiting and working like vanity as Solomon says in Ecclesiastes?

- Of course not.

Waiting and working creates a space or an avenue in us for hope, for faith, for belief.

It exercises our faith in God by keep believing that we always have hope in Him.
And this hope takes us to the future but it takes faith to see it.

Since life is like this, how can we wait wisely that is honorable and pleasant to God?

1. Wait and Pray
Praying allows us to learn His will, His way.
It is important for us to know that we are waiting for the right thing at the right time.
Like if we are waiting for love, let's say.
We have to discern "the when" of seeking it and "the how" of pursuing it.
Bible says to not awaken love until the time is right and that there is always a right time for every activity under heaven.

2. Wait and Work
God doesn't want us to be idle.
He wants us to act and be involved.
He loves to work with us - in and through us.
Working invites us to use the time, talents, and treasures God has entrusted us - and we honor Him if we do things with all our hearts, soul, mind, and strength.

3. Wait and Rest
Maybe to most, this is the hardest part of waiting.
Because after doing the working, we need more power.
 - power to do nothing.
Resting in His words reveals our attitude to how we take His promises seriously.
It unveils the confidence we have to the One who said will do it.

Now, what if we get tired?
Despite doing all these praying, working, and resting, God seems nowhere to be found.
He seems silent and not working.

Well, believe it or not, the Lord expects us to be tired that's why He says to come to Him and take a rest.

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

It is never an option to quit - to turn our back from Him.

In the story of Job, he waited for God to intervene and save him.

He waited in pain and suffering for some period of time but he never turns away from God.
He might have questioned His love but he brought all his arguments and pleas to Him.
He expresses the steadfastness of his faith by keep reaching out his voice to God.

And we know in the end, Job wasn't disappointed.

Isaiah 40:31
Yet those who wait for the LORD
will gain new strength;
They will mount up on wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired.
They will walk and not become weary.

If we will turn our back from God then to whom else will we go?

Jeremiah 6:16
Ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is and walk in it. 

To us, if we have found God, stay in Him.
He is our refuge and strong tower.
Our help, our only portion, and the strength of our hearts.

So let us not grow weary.
We may have a lot of waiting to go in life but one thing is for sure.
- Our life is not in vain.

And we can be sure that we are waiting for God's best for we know we have sought His will, did His will, and surrendered to His will.

The faith that we have will never put us to shame.

It will sustain us until the day we hear Him say good and faithful one and that will stop all the waitings we are waiting for.

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Saturday, August 1, 2020

PSALM 73:23, He holds my hand


I don't have the courage to write these past weeks.
My July journal wasn't filled.
I missed my Bible.

Selah.

Yes, there's nothing new with this post, this is still a story of being down I guess.
This pandemic is so real.
It hits me.
I didn't feel like myself the last month.
It seems I am not me.
I was different for many days.

I felt guilty for not spending time with the Lord as I used to be.
I dealt with the everyday as if I am not minding Him.
He was just in my rearview and I didn't try to look closer at Him.

It seems I am so okay outside yet inside I know I am not.
Something is missing, something is falling.

Looks like, I almost lost my footing.
But why I am still here standing?

I guess it's because of His love - no, I know it's His lovingkindness that holds me.

Many things have failed these past months at least for my perspective.
My heart is having its own ups and downs.
Negativity keeps coming back.
Some are from of old, some are new.
Many times I am discouraged - and this month, I think, I gave in.

I miss the old normal.
I miss going out.
I miss the face to face interaction, conversation.
I am tired of the slow internet thing.
I miss touching my friends.
I miss walking freely.
I feel ugly inside our house.
My clothes aren't nice, my hair isn't fixed.
And sometimes, I think I overeat without getting enough movements.
I hate COVID!
It holds our wedding.
It ruined our plans.

These were the things popping on my mind.
I am so negative.
I didn't fight them using His words as my armor.

I know the Bible can answer everything I said, everything I thought.
But I don't know.
I get tired of encouraging myself, I guess.
I allowed other things to feed me just to forget these thoughts, these sentiments.

I decided to just do things that I feel like doing - calligraphy, painting, watching movies, and even chatting and chatting with friends.
I was busy doing these all day.
I had fun.

But at the end of it all, I am not full.
None of these filled me, satisfied me.
I made such good things bad for myself.

My heart isn't at peace.
I don't feel good.
I got to do something.
There's something inside me that is pulling me back to where I'm supposed to be.

And I gave in to that power - the Holy Spirit. 


Psalm 73:21-23
When my heart was embittered and I was pierced within,
Then I was senseless and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.

Yes, my heart was not right, what I did looks non-sense.
It seems ignorant before the Lord.
What I did was unpleasing before Him.
I looked like a beast - not beautiful before Him.
But though I was like that, He didn't give up on me.
He stayed with me and even more, He kept on holding me.
He has taken hold of my right hand just to keep me from falling, from slipping.

My feet came close to stumbling but the Lord keeps on adjusting.
He widened my steps under me.

Psalm 18:36
You have made a wide path for my feet to keep them from slipping.

The Lord is the Sweetest, He is so Patient.
Truly, His kindness leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4) - It leads me to repentance and now I'm slowly coming back.

Psalm 94:18
If I should say "My foot has slipped" Your lovingkindness O Lord will hold me up.

I am getting well from the inside-out as my life verse became real once again.

Psalm 73:28
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things You do.

Yes, apart from the Lord, nothing would I do would make me feel good nor can be considered good at all.

Hard times are real.
No one is exempted - even Job is included.

I realized it's easy to judge someone's action not realizing that each people have their own battle.
It might be little or simple for some - but to them, it might be the whole world.
If the Lord is so patient, why can't we?

In this world full of many, choose to be kind for some people might be going through something we might know nothing about.

Don't push someone harder.
Job's friends didn't say anything good, anything helpful.
They torment him with their speech, their words crush him (Job 19:2-3).

Believe it or not, prayer is enough.
I believe if someone belongs to the Lord, He Himself will pursue them.

Just be kind.
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Sunday, June 14, 2020

PSALM 77, Pour - Process - Praise


Amazingly the Lord is so good in controlling my feelings these past weeks.
It seems like I was in a roller-coaster ride.
Sometimes I'm okay, sometimes I am not.
I feel emotional, I feel hyper, I feel nothing - I'm just moving.

I wouldn't say I am totally okay with what happened to us.
When some of my friends keep sending me successful wedding stories amidst this COVID 19 Pandemic - I can say, I'm not okay with it.
It made me sad.
I envy them - and yes, it made me cry again.
I am not encouraged though I know so well that they were really just concerned about me wanting to encourage me and give me some hope in such time as this.

I really appreciate them, I swear.
I love them.
I'm thankful for their effort in reaching me out and remembering me.
I just don't understand myself.
I really want to feel happy for those successful stories but I don't know why I found myself bitter coming back to God asking Him, "When Lord?" "How long?", "Have you forgotten me?", "Are you not faithful to me anymore?", "Is my faith becoming weak?", "Why us?", "Why now?" "Why not just stop this?".

As I was searching for some encouragement, I came across an article on a Christian website entitled "When my soul refused to be comforted."

I felt this is just me.

The verse says...

(v.2)  My soul refuse to be comforted.
(v.3)  When I remember God, I am disturbed.
(v.4)  I feel so trouble, I cannot speak.
(v.8)  Will I never be favorable again?
(v.9)  Has His promise come to an end forever?
(v.10) It is my grief that the right hand of God has changed.

This is what's really in my heart.
That's the voice within me.
I am disturbed by the thought that God will not keep His promises for me anymore.
Because at this very moment, the answer to my questions has appeared to have an emotional impact of yes.

COVID is not doing well here, our papers expired, no updates from our church's premarital department and the admin of our condominium are not permitting construction in the site yet.

Things around are not getting better at least for my perspective and it shakes my confidence with what God has said to me beforehand.

I'm searching the Lord for an answer to restore my confidence but I found nothing.
And my waiting is becoming harder for the Lord seems silent.

While I was in this roller-coaster emotions,
I appreciate how God's timeline is so good!
Amazingly, my Bible reading is about Job and I decided to take some deep study about it.

Job is a story of pain and suffering - not just suffering but the suffering of a godly man.

And this is the highlight of this book.
Maybe, Job's story will not be this known if perhaps he is a bad person in the sight of humanity.
We know that Job is not without sin because he too inherits the sins of Adam like all of us.
But God says, he is blameless and upright.
He has sins but in people's eyes, he is basically a good man.

At the end of this book, we can say that God doesn't explain to Job the reason for his pain and suffering instead, God shows how in His wisdom He has created the whole universe and everything in it.

This book never intended to answer the question of why pain, suffering, and evil exist but it wants to invite us to trust God's character and wisdom.
For our theology doesn't end that God is good and sovereign but that He is also wise and eternal.
He is outside time. He will never be late nor be too early. His timing will be just right - always.

The reason why Job cannot defend himself properly from the accusations of his friends is that he too really don't know why.

For our thoughts cannot reach God's thought. We cannot comprehend His ways.
They are way higher as Isaiah said.

Isaiah 55:8
For my thoughts are not your thoughts nor are your ways My ways.

So what now?
What to do while waiting and God seems silent?

Our senior pastor share with us some steps.
1. Pour
2. Process
3. Praise

Pour out your feelings to God.
It's okay to be emotional.
God will not judge you.
Like Job's story, God did not rush in to reprimands Job's drama.
He may seem silent but we know at the end of the chapter God is listening.

Then, Process your feelings and emotions together with God.
Be encouraged with some characters from the Bible who too waited in the Lord.

Abraham waited for a promised son,
Moses waited for a promised deliverance,
Joshua waited for a promised land,
David waited for a promised kingdom,
And many more others we can name of.

Like Asaph in this Psalm, let us be reminded of what history and the bible tells us - that God is always faithful to His promises.

(v.11) I shall remember the deeds of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
(v.12) I will meditate on all Your work And muse on Your deeds.

Lastly, Praise the Lord.
Praising the Lord in advance in times of waiting is the best way to demonstrate our faith to Him.
He might be working in different ways.
In things, we cannot understand like Job but everything He does is holy.
It might be hidden from our eyes but God never stops working.

(v.14) Your way, O God is holy...
(v.19) Your way was in the sea and Your paths in the mighty waters, And Your footprints may not be known.

Now, I'm learning that in our waiting, never stop seeking and just keep praying.
Believing that at the end of all of these, we will find out that finding Him is the ultimate comfort we can ever have.
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Monday, May 11, 2020

ECCLESIASTES 3:10-13, The present is a gift



I have seen the burden God has placed on us all.
Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.
So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.
And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.
- Ecclesiastes 3:10-13, NLT.

This verse was the first featured verse in my first ever blog I wrote for a Christian web page last Feb 2019.
I was a guest blogger back then :)
Here's the LINK if in case you haven't read it.

I have a few things realized after reading the article again.

It amazes me how the LORD met me where I am at that moment.
He may not answer my prayer in the way I wanted but He comforted me.
He definitely knew my hurts and disappointments.
Well, God doesn't owe me any explanation because He is God.

But because He loves me, He made me understand that while I cannot fully understand what He's doing, I have many reasons to be joyful.
So I must enjoy whatever I have on my hand and to whatever situation I'm in.
This is the best thing I can do - appreciating all that He has given me.
Because those things are His gifts - a  picture of His grace.

GRACE. Yes, grace.
I cannot fully understand what grace is before until I get to know Jesus personally.
We have three things to define first to understand this.

1. JUDGMENT - You do me wrong, You deserved penalty, You get it.
2. MERCY -  You do me wrong, You deserved penalty, but You did not get it because I pity You.
3. GRACE - You do me wrong, You deserved penalty, but You did not get it - instead I forgave you and loved you. I became your friend and I'm even ready to die for you.

God showed us the third one (Ephesians 2:8-9, John 10:10-11)
God hates sin which made us His enemy as the bible tells us (Romans 5:10).
We have offended Him greatly when we had chosen to follow our own way (Isaiah 53:6)

Jesus has given me so much.
He could have just shown me mercy.
No need for a connection at all.
After saving me, He could just have left me alone and forget about me - yet He did not.

I am eternally grateful to Him not just for saving me from the penalty of my sins (Romans 6:23) but also for choosing to love the unlovable me (Romans 5:8).

There might be times where I am so overwhelmed with my difficulties and heartaches that I tend to forget all of His goodness.
Yet despite the pains, I am not doomed to despairs.
My hope is anchored on His promises and though waiting is difficult - I believe it is worthy in the end.
Because when He says "No", all I have to do is to be content for the moment for when He takes away something, He has something better in return :)
I need not to worry because my God is always bigger than what I see in this world.

That's why I admire Paul when he said in Philippians 4:12 that he has learned to be contented in whatever circumstance he is in.
And like him, I am learning it too.
I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in my life right now.
From pizza delivery at home to movie marathons with my family.
From baking sessions to eating snacks together.
From craving ice cream to actually having it and until we crave again.
And many more stories.
More than cooking and baking, calligraphy techniques, and food aesthetic, God has taught me that even though life didn't turn out the way I expected or planned it - I can always be joyful and thankful.
I have always something to learn along the way.

I'm writing this to remind myself personally that in the beginning, God has always been so good to me.
Enjoying all He has given me is a form of worship - a thankfulness that I can offer to Him because I owe it to my Savior to be joyful every moment of my life.

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