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This world tells us that love is a FEELING that can come and go.
I, myself once thought like this.
But if this is true, then love will fail us all the time.
And it will never be strong enough to hold a marriage together - so this world created ways for us to leave it behind.
But this is NOT how God defines love.
Yes, feelings do come and go but that is IF Love is a feeling.
- because it is NOT.
The dangerous thing about looking at love as a feeling is the INCONSISTENCY of it.
It means we live based on our emotions.
The Bible tells us that true love is UNCONDITIONAL.
In reality, not every day is a good day.
There are days that we just can't get along with our spouse.
Well, truly finding love and being married are totally different things.
Finding love is something like a butterfly in your stomach which is mostly about the feeling of happiness.
It brings different levels of excitement and spark and chemistry and feeling of being in the air.
We are focus to see only the good part, the good things.
Marriage, on the other hand, is much like a little mix of everything.
Your spouse really brings out not only the best of who you are but also the worst.
It is not always a sweet walk together they say.
While marriage serves several purposes like companionship, support, intimacy, and procreation - the ultimate purpose of it will never be happiness but instead HOLINESS.
And while the world tells us to leave marriage when we are no longer happy, it's always the opposite of it.
Marriage has to be SANCTIFYING.
Not to mention that whatever status we are in - being single or married, it's always for the purpose of holiness.
None is better, and none is easier than the other.
The truth is sometimes we cannot get along with our spouse because we have something in our lives that is not CHRIST-LIKE.
And most of us don't want to deal with it.
We don't want to admit our faults.
We ignore that the ultimate problem is we just don't want to love like Jesus does.
Why?
- It's hard.
- It feels humiliating.
- It's too self-giving
- It's contrary to what this world says like "Do what makes you happy", "Follow your heart", "Put yourself first", etc...
We don't want to be sanctified.
We don't want to change.
We don't want to adjust.
You know what we want?
We want is...
- just to be HAPPY.
And most of the time being happy means we have to be selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed.
We want the other person to change.
We want them to do what we want - to please us.
This is what our flesh craves - to be the first, the top, the priority.
We want to always be served - to receive.
And if everyone thinks this way and acts like it's ALL ABOUT THEM, then we have no hope for melody.
Everyone has their own AGENDA and so we have no hope for peace and LOVE will not truly exist.
So, that's why God set it to be ALL ABOUT HIM, walking in harmony having one perspective, one purpose, and one end goal.
Not to see love as an act of receiving but GIVING.
John 3:16
"For God so LOVED the world that He GAVE His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."
Even this famous verse says,
Love is indeed an act of GIVING.
It is a SACRIFICE.
He loves us so He gave His Son to us - His one and only Son.
Marrying someone means LOSING too.
We have to lose a lot of who we are in order for us to BECOME ONE with our spouse.
We have to let go of what we want, of what we prefer, of what we used to.
Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility VALUE others above yourselves,
not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Ps. Happy 3rd year wedding anniversary to us, my God's best!
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