Maybe sometimes we find it hard to celebrate our own spouse.

It is easier to give in to the frustrations and anger we feel at the moment than to pause and pray for ourselves and our spouses.

Of course, the devil loves to point out our spouse’s flaws because he is the accuser.

He comes to steal, kill, and destroy the happiness in our marriages.

They say that the natural inertia of a marriage is not to grow closer - life happens, children come, bills are unending, work is demanding, responsibilities are getting real, and so on; that's why we should always find ways to honor our marriages.

As they say "The grass is greener where you water it" so our marriages will be kept alive if we are investing in it.

As the Bible says in Galatians, whatever a man sows, he will also reap.

If we sow love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in our spouses - and if we do not give up doing these, then we will reap these things in due time.

Galatians 6:7,9

7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. 

9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

So how can we water our marriages?

1. WATER it with TIME

Spend time with your spouse.

Date them, Talk with them, Listen to them, Share stories, and Cultivate togetherness by finding and creating things you enjoy together.

As Audrey Hepburn says "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."

Hold your spouse.

Don't make them feel neglected.

Prioritized them.

Surprise them.

Serve them.

Lost time is never found again.

We can only invest time.

We cannot make more of it nor save any of it.

If we don't use it, we will lose it forever.

2. WATER it with WORDS

Speak not just words but life-giving words to our spouses.

Encourage one another, Affirm one another.

The Bible says that death and life are in the power of the tongue.

It's either our words will kill or bring life to those who hear them.

Words indeed pierce deeper than any swords.

Sometimes, it's better to be silent when we are angry since out of the overflow of our hearts, our mouths speak, and then when our hearts are hurt, we likewise speak hurts.

Proverbs 10:19

Too much talk leads to sin, but he who seals his lips is wise.

Let us be careful that with the same mouth, we don't speak both praises to God and curses to other people, especially to our spouses.

James 3:9-12

With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh?

3. WATER it with PRAYERS

Pray for your spouse.

Pray that the Lord will be pleased and glorified in your marriage.

Fights and conflicts are inevitable.

There will always be misunderstandings and mistakes, disappointments and hurts and pain and shortcomings, and so on - there's no such thing as a "perfect marriage" that is why we need to cover our marriages in prayers.

Pray for protection, for peace, for strength, for continuous joy, and so on.

Involve God in your marriage.

Pray not just for one another but pray together.

As we end this,

Do you know why Falling in love is easy?

Because you don't do anything - you just FALL.

But Staying in Love is different.

Staying is a choice.

And whenever your love for one another prevails, Marriage has to be celebrated.

So today, I am celebrating my husband.

I am in awe of Him, for the Love we have prevails, and keeps prevailing against the test of time. 

And we know that this Love we have is not from us.

We love because He first Loved us (1 John 4:19)

Happy 4th hon!

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, 

It's LOVE Month!

Let me highlight some sweetness, kindness, and thoughtfulness I received a little not so lately - 

Not from my husband but from the One who loved me first - JESUS 🤍

STORY 1:

There was this day when I was asking the Lord for a budget for my hair and makeup since we would be having an event in our company.

I need 1500 PHP to be exact.

That exact day, someone messaged me from the Facebook marketplace and she bought not just one but three paintings from me.

Do you know what amazes me more?

Each of my paintings cost 500 php! 😊

What a sweet Lord! Isn't He?

Hair and Makeup are not significant needs, to begin with, but for God to give me what I want instantly and very exactly - it melts my heart.

STORY 2:

I woke up one morning from a dream of eating a piece of "Mango Bravo".

It is a cake from a Bakeshop named "Contis" - so I was craving it all day.

I thought to myself it was too expensive to buy the whole cake given that there's no occasion to be celebrated, and if we just bought one slice, we would still need to buy some food to make our dine-out worthy; hence, I just decided to forget it.

Afternoon came, around 5pm.

Someone messaged us telling us that they would like to buy our baby a Birthday/Christmas present at the mall near us, so we went.

When we arrived they told us that they were at a restaurant cafe...

And Yup!

It's "Contis"

My heart immediately pounded at the thought of that cake! I realized that just when we surrendered our desire to the Lord, He give it in His own time. Praise you Lord!

STORY 3:

When we had our Christmas party last December, I had this particular prize I'm eyeing thinking that it was a house fragrance (because upon asking what is it, I found out it was not) well, I didn't get it even though I have put much effort to win the game.

Another Christmas party came, and so another gift is bound to be received.

To my heart's gladness, one of the items I got is a house fragrance! And it is big! He might not gave me what I want at the moment where I strongly want it because it is a wrong desire, indeed He gave it in the right time with a much better thing. He knows the best indeed!

Oh God, how sweet and thoughtful You really are!

Giving not just our needs but also those we desire.

Yes, it is God's desire to make our hearts glad too knowing it is good for us.

He wants to put smiles on our faces and extend His goodness to us.

Showing how much He knows us and cares for us.

If people who love us like our earthly parents or spouses desire to make us happy by granting our wishes what more is our Heavenly Father who loves us perfectly.

He doesn't withhold good things to whom it is due when it's in His power to do it.

Luke 11:11-13

What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

So this season of love, I encourage you to taste and see the sweetness of our Father in Heaven.

I can say, there's nothing like the sweetness of God. It touches the soul.

And more than the gifts and surprises, for me, it's His presence that blesses me.

Truly, it's the thought that counts and to think that God thinks of me, just makes me feel special, wanted, and pursued.

Indeed, He is not just my Ultimate Provider but my Ultimate Lover as well.

Happy LOVE Month!

Ps. Thanks to my husband for this surprise

Most of us think that marriage is bliss and every marriage is a happy ever after.

After all, I married my prince charming and I will be his princess forever.

There will be no fighting, no disagreements, arguments, or struggles.

My husband says maybe that's why most fairytales end in a wedding because it will be a different story if we read it further.

In a perfect world, living a happily ever after is possible but since marriage is a union of two imperfect people living in an imperfect world - these are inevitable.

We are surprised by the reality that our prince charming is not ALWAYS charming at all and we are not ALWAYS treated the way we wanted to be treated as their princess.

Sometimes it feels like we married the wrong person - they must be the villain or the witch.

And there is really no fairy godmother to the rescue.

So are we saying that we cannot live a happy married life?

- Of course not :)

The truth is every marriage will always be under attack by the enemy, that's why we have to work for it.

And they say that God doesn't ultimately fix marriages, but He fixes people in it first.

Good marriage follows when the person in it changes.

They also say that we don't have to have a great marriage, we have to be the great spouse by focusing on what we can control.

Men and women are wired differently.

They were made differently.

God made men out of the dust of the earth while women were made out of a man.

In marriage, husbands and wives also have different roles.

Looking throughout the Bible we see one woman who exceeds the role of being a wife - She is called a woman with a noble character.

Her worth is far above rubies.

And she is his husband's most precious treasure.

Proverbs 18:22

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,  and he receives favor from the LORD.

So what's in the heart of this woman that her husband and children praise her?

As a woman ourselves, what can we learn from her?

1. A Heart that can be TRUSTED

A TRUSTWORTHY wife is more concerned about doing her husband good than how much good is he doing to her.

Her husband's heart fully trusts her.

He doesn't hide anything from her because he has confidence in her.

Her husband doesn't worry about the way she handles their resources.

Nor does he bother sharing anything including his failures because he is not afraid to be judged or to be blamed whenever things go out of their way.

He feels respected - and this is how men translate love.

We respect them not based on how good are they doing but because of their position in the house - and this is WISDOM.

They are the head - the Leader.

The Bible even says Sarah obeys Abraham by calling him Lord.

They say that a man wouldn't fight for the leadership in his home.

He will quit.

He wouldn't fight to get that respect.

Proverbs 21:9

It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.

Respect also includes the way we treat them both in private and in public.

How we speak about them in front of others - including our jokes about them.

Respect also involves how we listen to them.

Their opinion matters - it is valuable.

It means we also consider our husband's wishes.

2. A Heart that CARES

A CARING wife means we nurture the things God has entrusted around us.

We bring out the best in them, that's why the Bible calls us "helpers"

Nurturing BEGINS in our home.

Regardless of whether the house is big or small, remember that wherever we live, that is our home and our husband wants us to take care of it.

Part of caring is being appreciative of our husbands.

A man has a big responsibility to provide for his family that's why they need appreciation.

Words are also a huge part of nurturing someone; hence, the way we speak to our husbands plays an important role in whether they will succeed in leading our home.

We are not called helpers because they are already perfect.

My husband says that how can I help him if I am not encouraging him, I am not believing in him, I am not cheering him up.

Be careful not to speak discouragement to them - our words have the POWER to build them up and to tear them down.

Someone says that we have to recognize our husband's efforts even if they don't meet our expectations.

Because our affirmation in responding to their effort will encourage them to make more effort.

Also, a woman who truly cares carefully watches her household.

She rises early and prepares food for her family.

She doesn't suffer from idleness.

She is purposeful in her time and this is WISDOM.

She clothes his husband and children with not just clothes but with SCARLET clothes.

She does all these things with DELIGHT.

The whole household is in order because she CARES.

Her children feel blessed to have her.

Her husband feels proud of her.

Proverbs 12:4

An excellent wife is the CROWN of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.

She brings honor to her husband.

Lastly, we cannot be caring and not to be kind.

This wife extends help to the needy.

She does not hesitate to extend her hands to the poor because she believes that the LORD owns all things and that her future is secured in the Lord.

She can SMILE while thinking of the future.

This is also WISDOM.

3. A Heart that is BEAUTIFUL inside-out

They say that no man married his wife as an act of mercy.

The Bible even mentioned that Rebekah was beautiful in form and appearance.

In this proverb, the woman is cloth in fine linen and purple gown.

She takes care of herself - of her well-being as well.

She makes herself lovely for his husband.

The way we dress and look nice is also WISDOM.

But don't get it wrong, making ourselves presentable and obsessing over our looks are two different things.

A woman whose heart has been made beautiful through holiness will delight in dressing in a way that pleases her Lord.

The outside appearance is important but only secondary to what we look on the inside.

This proverb also highlights that charm is deceitful and that beauty is fleeting.

This woman clothes himself not just with good clothes but also with strength and dignity.

The inner beauty of a woman is also WISDOM.

A beautiful woman without a good character is a waste of beauty.

It is like a gold ring on a pig's nose they say, just a waste of beauty.

Proverbs 31:10-31

A wife of noble character, who can find?

She is far more precious than rubies.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

and he lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good and not harm

all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax

and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships,

bringing her food from afar.

She rises while it is still night

to provide food for her household

and portions for her maidservants.

She appraises a field and buys it;

from her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She girds herself with strength

and shows that her arms are strong.

 

She sees that her gain is good,

and her lamp is not extinguished at night.

She stretches out her hands to the distaff

and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor

and reaches out her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household,

for they are all clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed;

her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Her husband is known at the city gate,

where he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them;

she delivers sashes to the merchants.

Strength and honor are her clothing,

and she can laugh at the days to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and call her blessed;

her husband praises her as well:

“Many daughters have done noble things,

but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Give her the fruit of her hands,

and let her works praise her at the gates

 To wrap this up, I think this woman exemplifies wisdom because she took to her heart what the Bible says in 1 PETER 3:1-6

Maybe let's dig into these verses a little further on our next blog.

Thank you for reading :)

This world tells us that love is a FEELING that can come and go.

I, myself once thought like this.

But if this is true, then love will fail us all the time. 

And it will never be strong enough to hold a marriage together - so this world created ways for us to leave it behind.

But this is NOT how God defines love.

Yes, feelings do come and go but that is IF Love is a feeling.

- because it is NOT.

The dangerous thing about looking at love as a feeling is the INCONSISTENCY of it.

It means we live based on our emotions.

The Bible tells us that true love is UNCONDITIONAL.

In reality, not every day is a good day.

There are days that we just can't get along with our spouse.

Well, truly finding love and being married are totally different things.

Finding love is something like a butterfly in your stomach which is mostly about the feeling of happiness.

It brings different levels of excitement and spark and chemistry and feeling of being in the air.

We are focus to see only the good part, the good things.

Marriage, on the other hand, is much like a little mix of everything.

Your spouse really brings out not only the best of who you are but also the worst.

It is not always a sweet walk together they say.

While marriage serves several purposes like companionship, support, intimacy, and procreation - the ultimate purpose of it will never be happiness but instead HOLINESS.

And while the world tells us to leave marriage when we are no longer happy, it's always the opposite of it.

Marriage has to be SANCTIFYING.

Not to mention that whatever status we are in - being single or married, it's always for the purpose of holiness.

None is better, and none is easier than the other.

The truth is sometimes we cannot get along with our spouse because we have something in our lives that is not CHRIST-LIKE.

And most of us don't want to deal with it.

We don't want to admit our faults.

We ignore that the ultimate problem is we just don't want to love like Jesus does.

Why?

- It's hard.

- It feels humiliating.

- It's too self-giving

- It's contrary to what this world says like "Do what makes you happy", "Follow your heart", "Put yourself first", etc...

We don't want to be sanctified.

We don't want to change.

We don't want to adjust.

You know what we want?

We want is...

 - just to be HAPPY.

And most of the time being happy means we have to be selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed.

We want the other person to change.

We want them to do what we want - to please us.

This is what our flesh craves - to be the first, the top, the priority.

We want to always be served - to receive.

And if everyone thinks this way and acts like it's ALL ABOUT THEM, then we have no hope for melody.

Everyone has their own AGENDA and so we have no hope for peace and LOVE will not truly exist.

So, that's why God set it to be ALL ABOUT HIM, walking in harmony having one perspective, one purpose, and one end goal.

Not to see love as an act of receiving but GIVING.

John 3:16

"For God so LOVED the world that He GAVE His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Even this famous verse says,

Love is indeed an act of GIVING.

It is a SACRIFICE.

He loves us so He gave His Son to us - His one and only Son.

Marrying someone means LOSING too.

We have to lose a lot of who we are in order for us to BECOME ONE with our spouse.

We have to let go of what we want, of what we prefer, of what we used to.

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

Rather, in humility VALUE others above yourselves,

not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Ps. Happy 3rd year wedding anniversary to us, my God's best!

Social media can be deceiving sometimes if we are not careful.

Our eyes have a lot to see and our hearts have too much to desire.

There is a grand destination wedding, a dream honeymoon, a date night, a vacation trip or staycation, a new house, a new car, new shoes, a new everything, having a happy family, happy marriage, and a happy self.

Everyone would like to present themselves as the one having it all and while there should be really nothing wrong with having and achieving all these things, we must not forget that our hearts are a factory of desires.

It will keep wanting.

That is why God said to guard it for everything we do flows from it.

In the Bible, it says that Solomon didn't refuse to give himself all that he had desired nor withhold his heart from all the pleasures he had in mind - yet, in the end, it feels VANITY.

Ecclesiastes 2:10

All that my eye desired, I did not refuse them.

I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure for my heart was pleased because of all my labor

And this was my reward for all my labor.

The truth is this world will always create someone who is prettier than us, lovelier, charming, smarter, younger, successful, everything we can name of.

The enemy will keep on feeding our mind that someone is better than us so pursue more, want more, achieve more.

Satan is even at work telling us the lie that everyone has an enjoyable life.

And so if we are experiencing hardships and problems, a downhill path in our life we must keep it to ourselves.

It feels shameful to admit it as the world seems perfect and seems to be happy all the time.

No one for sure will understand us and everyone will love to judge us.

Hence, our usual response will be to fix it ALONE while hiding it, brushing it off, or denying it.

But the danger of keeping our struggles in secret is that the enemy works in darkness because he is afraid that the light will expose their deeds.

Not opening it to the light is like giving an enemy the power to be with us in the dark - alone with them.

In fact like animals, we become prey and are most vulnerable when we are separated from our pack.

We are most likely to fall into temptation and so eventually give in to the sinful pattern of this world.

That's why God said that it is not good for a man to be alone and that two are better than one for when one falls, the other may help him get up.

Yet, there's a good news...

Do you know that the Bible is filled with stories of tears, yet also filled with stories of a God who wiped them away?

There is no place unreachable by the Lord.

No place that is too far from Him.

He even says that we cannot hide from His Spirit.

Psalm 139:7-12

I can never escape from your Spirit!

I can never get away from your presence!

If I go up to heaven, you are there;

if I go down to the grave, you are there.

If I ride the wings of the morning,

if I dwell by the farthest oceans,

even there your hand will guide me,

and your strength will support me.

I could ask the darkness to hide me

and the light around me to become night—

but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.

To you the night shines as bright as day.

Darkness and light are the same to you.

What a wonderful reminder!

We could come into darkness yet even that DARKNESS is NOT DARK to Him at all.

Even in the dark, He sees us,

We can never flee from His presence.

That's why he says He is our Emmanuel.

He is always with us.

He even came down to us and dwelled with us so we could have fellowship with Him.

Fellowship. 

Yes, that is SHARING our lives with one another.

Jesus shared His life with us while living in our world.

He modeled that living in a community and DOING LIFE with other believers is vital in our walk in Him.

He showed how important fellowship is to His body.

It is to strengthen one another because He knows that no one is strong enough to be alone and so we need each other's help.

It is to encourage one another because He knows sometimes we can lose hope and lose sight of our purpose.

Holiness, indeed, is not a lone ranger effort.

So let us not hesitate to open ourselves in the light together with those who follow the Lord from a pure heart.

Our inner circles are some of the most important predictors of how successful we can be in our life too.

Do not be deceived by the lie that we can keep bad company and not be negatively affected.

Proverbs 13:20

Walk with the wise and become wise;

associate with fools and get in trouble.

Do not be afraid to be a part of a community 

Share your story with your trusted circles.

Reach out to someone whom you know loves and fears the Lord. :)

Our Couple's Discipleship Group

I've been watching Kdrama lately after almost 6 yrs of stopping myself from it.

I still got butterflies in my stomach with all the love stories I watched and made me wonder what bible love stories feel like and look like.

What can we get from them?

What can we learn from God about them?

And so here they go.

1. Isaac and Rebekah

Genesis 24:62-65

Now Isaac had come from Beer Lahai Roi, for he was living in the Negev. 

He went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching.

Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac.

She got down from her camel and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?”

“He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself.

Genesis 24:67

Isaac brought her into the tent of her mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her;...

Love at first sight.

Although Isaac and Rebekah had not met each other before they got married they were able to love each other their entire lives because they chose to.

This may tell us that love is more than just a feeling, it is a commitment - A decision.

Their relationship shows us that marriage is deciding to love a person and that we can rely on God to keep us going and loving each other to the end even when differences and difficulties arise in the marriage.

2. Jacob and Leah

Genesis 28:1

So Isaac called for Jacob and blessed him. Then he commanded him: "Do not marry a Canaanite woman"...

Genesis 29:23

Laban took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and Jacob made love to her.

One of the very important principles in entering into a relationship is that we should look for a spouse from among God’s people and that our parents' blessing must also be sought.

Their wisdom shouldn't be disregarded.

If we get involved with unbelievers, with someone who has a different faith from ours we will have to deal with the differences in beliefs and values.

Worse, we might even follow theirs and abandon the Lord.

1 King 11:2

"You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods." Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love.

1 King 11:4

As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God... 

3. Hosea and Gomer

Hosea 1:1

When the Lord first began speaking to Israel through Hosea, he said to him, “Go and marry a prostitute, so that some of her children will be conceived in prostitution.

Hosea 3:1

The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”

If there's anything we can learn from Hosea and Gomer it is that we all marry imperfect people - a sinner.

God's love shines brightest through us when marriage is hardest.

We cannot stay in the marriage unless we truly love and fear the Lord.

Their love story displays what it means to be chosen, forgiven, and treasured by God.

Since every marriage is a union between two sinners, forgiveness will be a constant guest. 

It should always be welcome when it is knocking and celebrated when it prevails.

4. Joseph and Mary

Matthew 1:18-19

Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.

Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

I think this is a picture of "when love and respect kiss each other".

Though Joseph might found himself as the offended party, he did not make a big deal out of it by getting the attention to himself.

He has no plan of disgracing Mary publicly nor looking for sympathy of people towards him.

His love is kind and while he might felt angry and disappointed, in his anger, he did not sin.

While these stories might not give that same feeling of excitement and romance to our bones - these for sure are kind to last because it is God who wrote them.

It is the picture of the gospel.

How Christ loves his bride, the church.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...

Furthermore, did you know that the Bible itself even began and ended in a wedding?

The picture of God giving Eve to Adam and Jesus Christ welcoming His bride, the church.

Genesis 2:18

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Genesis 2:24-25

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Revelations 21:2-3

I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.  

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.