PROVERBS 31, A woman who exemplifies wisdom

Most of us think that marriage is bliss and every marriage is a happy ever after.

After all, I married my prince charming and I will be his princess forever.

There will be no fighting, no disagreements, arguments, or struggles.

My husband says maybe that's why most fairytales end in a wedding because it will be a different story if we read it further.

In a perfect world, living a happily ever after is possible but since marriage is a union of two imperfect people living in an imperfect world - these are inevitable.

We are surprised by the reality that our prince charming is not ALWAYS charming at all and we are not ALWAYS treated the way we wanted to be treated as their princess.

Sometimes it feels like we married the wrong person - they must be the villain or the witch.

And there is really no fairy godmother to the rescue.

So are we saying that we cannot live a happy married life?

- Of course not :)

The truth is every marriage will always be under attack by the enemy, that's why we have to work for it.

And they say that God doesn't ultimately fix marriages, but He fixes people in it first.

Good marriage follows when the person in it changes.

They also say that we don't have to have a great marriage, we have to be the great spouse by focusing on what we can control.

Men and women are wired differently.

They were made differently.

God made men out of the dust of the earth while women were made out of a man.

In marriage, husbands and wives also have different roles.

Looking throughout the Bible we see one woman who exceeds the role of being a wife - She is called a woman with a noble character.

Her worth is far above rubies.

And she is his husband's most precious treasure.

Proverbs 18:22

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,  and he receives favor from the LORD.

So what's in the heart of this woman that her husband and children praise her?

As a woman ourselves, what can we learn from her?

1. A Heart that can be TRUSTED

A TRUSTWORTHY wife is more concerned about doing her husband good than how much good is he doing to her.

Her husband's heart fully trusts her.

He doesn't hide anything from her because he has confidence in her.

Her husband doesn't worry about the way she handles their resources.

Nor does he bother sharing anything including his failures because he is not afraid to be judged or to be blamed whenever things go out of their way.

He feels respected - and this is how men translate love.

We respect them not based on how good are they doing but because of their position in the house - and this is WISDOM.

They are the head - the Leader.

The Bible even says Sarah obeys Abraham by calling him Lord.

They say that a man wouldn't fight for the leadership in his home.

He will quit.

He wouldn't fight to get that respect.

Proverbs 21:9

It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.

Respect also includes the way we treat them both in private and in public.

How we speak about them in front of others - including our jokes about them.

Respect also involves how we listen to them.

Their opinion matters - it is valuable.

It means we also consider our husband's wishes.

2. A Heart that CARES

A CARING wife means we nurture the things God has entrusted around us.

We bring out the best in them, that's why the Bible calls us "helpers"

Nurturing BEGINS in our home.

Regardless of whether the house is big or small, remember that wherever we live, that is our home and our husband wants us to take care of it.

Part of caring is being appreciative of our husbands.

A man has a big responsibility to provide for his family that's why they need appreciation.

Words are also a huge part of nurturing someone; hence, the way we speak to our husbands plays an important role in whether they will succeed in leading our home.

We are not called helpers because they are already perfect.

My husband says that how can I help him if I am not encouraging him, I am not believing in him, I am not cheering him up.

Be careful not to speak discouragement to them - our words have the POWER to build them up and to tear them down.

Someone says that we have to recognize our husband's efforts even if they don't meet our expectations.

Because our affirmation in responding to their effort will encourage them to make more effort.

Also, a woman who truly cares carefully watches her household.

She rises early and prepares food for her family.

She doesn't suffer from idleness.

She is purposeful in her time and this is WISDOM.

She clothes his husband and children with not just clothes but with SCARLET clothes.

She does all these things with DELIGHT.

The whole household is in order because she CARES.

Her children feel blessed to have her.

Her husband feels proud of her.

Proverbs 12:4

An excellent wife is the CROWN of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.

She brings honor to her husband.

Lastly, we cannot be caring and not to be kind.

This wife extends help to the needy.

She does not hesitate to extend her hands to the poor because she believes that the LORD owns all things and that her future is secured in the Lord.

She can SMILE while thinking of the future.

This is also WISDOM.

3. A Heart that is BEAUTIFUL inside-out

They say that no man married his wife as an act of mercy.

The Bible even mentioned that Rebekah was beautiful in form and appearance.

In this proverb, the woman is cloth in fine linen and purple gown.

She takes care of herself - of her well-being as well.

She makes herself lovely for his husband.

The way we dress and look nice is also WISDOM.

But don't get it wrong, making ourselves presentable and obsessing over our looks are two different things.

A woman whose heart has been made beautiful through holiness will delight in dressing in a way that pleases her Lord.

The outside appearance is important but only secondary to what we look on the inside.

This proverb also highlights that charm is deceitful and that beauty is fleeting.

This woman clothes himself not just with good clothes but also with strength and dignity.

The inner beauty of a woman is also WISDOM.

A beautiful woman without a good character is a waste of beauty.

It is like a gold ring on a pig's nose they say, just a waste of beauty.

Proverbs 31:10-31

A wife of noble character, who can find?

She is far more precious than rubies.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

and he lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good and not harm

all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax

and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships,

bringing her food from afar.

She rises while it is still night

to provide food for her household

and portions for her maidservants.

She appraises a field and buys it;

from her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She girds herself with strength

and shows that her arms are strong.

 

She sees that her gain is good,

and her lamp is not extinguished at night.

She stretches out her hands to the distaff

and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor

and reaches out her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household,

for they are all clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed;

her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Her husband is known at the city gate,

where he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them;

she delivers sashes to the merchants.

Strength and honor are her clothing,

and she can laugh at the days to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and call her blessed;

her husband praises her as well:

“Many daughters have done noble things,

but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Give her the fruit of her hands,

and let her works praise her at the gates

 To wrap this up, I think this woman exemplifies wisdom because she took to her heart what the Bible says in 1 PETER 3:1-6

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands,
Then even if some REFUSE to obey the GOOD NEWS, your GODLY lives will SPEAK to them WITHOUT any words.
 
They will be WON OVER by OBSERVING your pure and reverent lives.
 
Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of FANCY hairstyles, EXPENSIVE jewelry or BEAUTIFUL clothes.
 
You should clothe yourself instead with the beauty that comes from within, the UNFADING BEAUTY of a GENTLE and QUIET SPIRIT which is so precious to God.
 
This is how the holy women of old MADE themselves beautiful.
 
They PUT their TRUST in God and ACCEPTED the authority of their husbands.
 
For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her MASTER.
 
You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husband might do.

Maybe let's dig into these verses a little further on our next blog.

Thank you for reading :)