Proverbs 31:28, MOMMA LIFE

The momma in me realizations.

1. Motherhood is indeed a bittersweet journey.

My heart is glad that my baby is growing well and is learning many things but I feel that a part in me is somehow sad that he is growing totally.

I feel emotional thinking that he will someday be okay without me (which is I think good because we should be raising kids to be independent of us, but of course always dependent on the Lord).

We are raising responsible individuals who are respectful and kind to men with fear and love in the Lord.

But it's just hard to let go of the thoughts that what we have now is something short and sweet.

Something momentary, something that is not forever.

And truly, the days are long but the years are short.

Taking care of a baby isn't easy, it is so tiring - Sometimes even exhausting.

It seems your every day is a long day yet when we look back, we realized it is not and will just wonder why time went by so fast.

Sometimes I wish I could pause a moment.

Saying whisper to the Lord to make the time stop for now because his laughter is so cute to my ears, his kisses are so sweet to my skin, his hugs are so warm to my heart and when he sleeps, it is just so breathtaking before my sight.

It feels like I could live with such moments as these like forever as in always.

2. Oh mommahood! It is so beautiful yet also painful.

It is confusing.

It is hard to comprehend.

I wonder what I really want.

Is it to leave the house or stay at home with my baby?

The thought of leaving him is hard for my heart but somehow good for my head.

So will I be kind to my heart or to my mind?

Will I put my sanity before emotions or emotions before sanity?

My heart feels like to stay with him but my mind says it's okay to have a moment and get some break.

As a working mom, I feel envy with mommas who are focused on taking care of their baby but when I am at home, I want to be out there and have some other life aside from home.

What do I really prefer?

What should a mum really be doing - where does she really belong to?

This part of me, I cannot figure out.

3. Life is ironic when you become a mum.

Can you believe it, not a day passes by that I am not tired? - yet I am also at my happiest.

I do miss my pre-baby days but I do love my new every day with him.

There are times when I'm at home and bored with our routines that I long to be free again.

And yet when I am away outside doing what I like - it feels like I am too free and liberated.

I feel guilty - missing my baby and longing to be at his side again.

I also wonder what is life like without him yet, but also know that I cannot imagine my life without him in it.

I became fearful and worried for my baby's well-being, health, development, surroundings, even future, and many more yet I know I am much stronger now compared to before.

I can endure physical pain and discomfort for the sake of my baby's safety and comfort.

I can tolerate emotional pain just to reserve my time and energy for my baby - for things that are true, pure, lovely, and praiseworthy.

I choose to be free of those bad thoughts that can affect me as a mum.

Oh, What a life!

God has gifted me a clear purpose I can hold to my arms and carry in my heart.

This life I have now - a bittersweet, confusing, and full of irony journey as a mum is the unconditional love a mother has for his child.

Something God has installed in us as parents to somehow grasp what His love for us looks like as His child.

Job 39:13-17
“The wings of the ostrich flap joyously,
With the pinion and feathers of love,
For she abandons her eggs to the earth
And warms them in the dust,
And she forgets that a foot may crush them,
Or that a wild animal may trample them.
She treats her young cruelly, as if they were not hers;
Though her labor is for nothing, she is unconcerned,
BECAUSE GOD HAS MADE HER FORGET WISDOM
AND HAS NOT GIVEN HER SHARE OF UNDERSTANDING.

She knows that what she is holding now will one day leave and fly without her yet she keeps on holding him while she can and his baby is allowing him still.

She might be confused about many things whether she is doing it right or not yet she is trying to do her best to be the best mum she could ever be for him.

Isaiah 49:15
Can a woman forget her own baby, and not love the child she bore?

To my mama, I will never understand how much you have loved me not until now that I am a mum too.

Thank you for the unconditional love, sacrifices, and hard work you did for us.

I love you so much.

To my baby, there are not enough words to describe how much I love you.

Please know that you did not steal life from me, you added life in mine.

I know that I will not be your number one one day but for now, I will treasure and cherish what you and I have - this sweet, magical, captivating brief moment of our lives.

I will be forever grateful to be called your momma.

To all mommas.

Cheers.

YOU are wonderful

YOU are doing great!

YOU are worthy to be celebrated.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!