GENESIS 2:24, Marriage realizations so far

Genesis 2:24 (ESV)

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

It's been more than 9 months now since we started our new life together as husband and wife.

I don't have much to say about marriage in general for now but I do have something to share about what its like to be married with my wonderful- caring husband.

This is just a little realization from a newly married woman and I am no expert at all.

1. Marriage reveals that you don't know your spouse that much.

Before getting married, I and my husband were 10 years of being in a relationship together. 

I thought that was fair enough to say that I know everything about him - that I know him so much - his wants, dislikes, his behavior, hobbies, talents and many more. 

To my surprise, he has a lot of things introduced with me along these past months.

One of it that I'm allowed to share is that he has a lot of "techy things" - from different kinds of cameras to speakers, microphones, headsets, and chargers - even mini fans, lights, and sensors.

I knew that my husband loves technology but I didn't expect that we will have too many wires, cords, and connections in our home.

Honestly, I find his things redundant and messy but at the same time I find him amazing and brilliant that he knows how to operate all of those things.

I know that my husband has his own discoveries about me too but one thing we learn - we cannot change each other's interests and hobbies overnight.

They are part of each other for a long time and as long as it doesn't harm our marriage, we have to accept them and see the good in it.

The reality is that new discoveries can be a source of a fight.

I could be mad at him because in my thought this makes our home looks unorganized but I also learned and am learning that I have to choose my battle wisely and that marriage is not a one-sided relationship.

Philippians 2:3-4 (NASB)

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

2. Marriage gives us no choice but to forgive.

We are not the type of couple who manages to resolve our conflicts easily - our fights when we were still single last for days.

I know it's mainly because of me being the one who finds forgiving too difficult to give.

It was much easier to be in tension before compared to today that we are living under one roof.

I cannot take ignoring and be mad with my husband all day and something inside me is being convicted that I have no choice but to be at peace with him.

After all, marriage has no exit.

They say that the strongest marriage is not made up of people who never made mistakes but with those who always choose to forgive one another.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that we agree with what happened but in reality, forgiveness sets us free from pain.

Personally, forgiveness makes me happy.

When I choose unforgiveness, I realized I am losing the time to laugh with my husband and that I am being a slave to the situation that is causing me pain and disappointment.

I think this is one of the biggest lies Satan has created - that forgiveness only makes the other person happy but not us because we are disregarding what happened - like we are tolerating what they have done.

We usually think that we punish the other party when we choose unforgiveness but actually we are just harming ourselves.

Someone says that unforgiveness destroys the vessel on which it is stored than the vessel on which it is poured.

And to add to this, hurting each other means destroying our marriage and none of us want this to happen.

Proverbs 17:9 (NLT)

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,

but dwelling on it separates close friends.

Psalm 65:3 (NLT)

Though we are overwhelmed by our sins,

You forgive them all.

3. Loneliness in marriage is still possible.

When the pandemic started, I miss my then-boyfriend (who is now my husband) whenever we are not together.

I feel sad to be away with him.

I wish we were already married before Covid-19 did happen so we are always together.

Though I miss other people too yet nothing can compare to the longing I feel for him those times.

And now that we are married and it still pandemic - I still long for some people.

Yes, I am happy to be with him every day, every night - every moment - but I still feel emotionally sad for some time.

I miss my family.

I also miss being with other people like my friends.

I'm having fun with my life being married to him right now but sometimes I am bored being just us together. 

I wish I could see our families and friends too - freely, whenever we want.

I just realized being with my husband is not enough.

Why?

Well, in reality, no one in this world will ever be enough.

I remember this line from a song,

"Nothing in this world will satisfy cause Jesus you're the cup that won't run dry"

When sin entered the world, God left us with a God-shaped vacuum in our hearts.

And these hearts will find no rest until it find it's satisfaction in Him.

John 4:13-14 (NLT)

Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again.

But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again.

It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

Psalm 23:1 (ESV)

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

4. Marriage is not just about sex.

I think everyone looks forward to this after getting married.

After all this a beautiful gift from the Lord exclusively for married couples.

Well, truly, marriage is more than just sex.

There are bills to pay, groceries to buy, dishes to wash, laundries to do, trashes to deal with, and cleaning the house - including the bathroom.

There are also times when we can't think of a new dish to cook and that both of us are too lazy to fix our bed and our clothes in the closet.

There is this reality that we have many things to do other than sex and that this is not also something natural to want or to do every moment of our daily life.

Maybe that is one of the reasons why they say marriage is hard work and that Paul reminded husbands and wives to fill their spouse's sexual needs.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs,

and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.

The wife gives authority over her body to her husband,

and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations,

unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time

so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer.

Afterward, you should come together again

so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Marriage is not only about sexual needs but the totality of physical needs, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs.

Having to enjoy this exclusive gift means husbands and wives have to protect every aspect of their spouse's needs as individuals.

This may include the feel of love and support, confidence, and trust.

Also helping each other in their work, good communication with each other, good conscience before the Lord, purity within their marriage, and so on.

Proverbs 5:15-20 (NLT)

Drink water from your own well —

share your love only with your wife.

Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,

having sex with just anyone?

You should reserve it for yourselves.

Never share it with strangers.

Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.

Rejoice in the wife of your youth.

She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.

Let her breasts satisfy you always.

May you always be captivated by her love.

Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman,

or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?

 

I don't have a conclusion to end this because our marriage has just begun and we for sure have a lot to discover yet with this journey.

But apart from Him, we know our journey together will not last - we cannot remain in love.

For God is our only true source of love.

We ultimately believe that happiness in marriage is not possible apart from His design and that marriage is the shape of the gospel (Ephesians 5:21-33).

It pictures how Christ as the husband loves his church, the wife - and how the wives as the church submit to their husbands who mirror Christ.

After all, marriage is not a road to happiness but to holiness for happiness is not the end goal but it is the by-product as we walk with Him.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.